Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Job
security is an important objective in many people
's lives. Some groups of People
argue that adolescents should care more about their career future instead
of their personal interest but others are of the opinion they should pursue their passions. I strongly believe youngsters could choose a job
which is a combination of both excitement and money.
First of all, seeking a job
just for the money and its market can be dangerous. Because young people
are full of hope, creativity and inquisitiveness. They need to work in a subject which serves their needs and demands. In addition
, if they could not work at these types of works, they would be disappointed and unsatisfied in their life
.
Secondly
, the more they are displeased with their job
, the more likely they leave or change their job
later. Furthermore
, with this
dissatisfaction, they will seek their interest in other jobs. Eventually, they will be irresponsible and never stick to a job
for a prolonged period. For instance
, the study indicates the proportion of people
who stay in the job
they like for more than 5 years is higher than people
who work just for the revenue.
On the other hand
, working in a job
that has a convenient market and financial stability can guarantee a life
with high welfare. Additionally
, people
with high-salary jobs can afford luxury vacations and increase their life
pleasure. For example
, in software engineering, which is one of the highest-paying jobs, a person who is extroverted can not be pleasant, in consequence, he may abandon his job
because he does not have many social contacts.
In conclusion, I believe in spite of a job
’s market and money, there are other clauses that young people
should consider such
as interest and enthusiasm for a job
to fulfil professional life
.Submitted by neginsepahvand on
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task achievement
While your essay generally addresses both viewpoints on the topic, aim to balance the discussion more evenly between the two sides. Your stance on the issue is clear, which is good.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your paragraphs. Ensure each one clearly transitions from one idea to the next. This will make your argument easier to follow.
task achievement
Some of your examples need to directly link to the points you are making. Try to provide specific statistics or studies to add weight to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay, and your conclusion neatly ties up your arguments and restates your opinion.
task achievement
You have shown the ability to consider both sides of the argument, which is crucial in this type of essay. This approach strengthens your overall argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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