IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
There is an ongoing debate between people about whether economic
progress
 is mainstream in a
country
 or whether other sorts of
progress
 are equally crucial for a
country
. Some administrations believe that economic
progress
 is their most vital aim,
however
, other people do not. In my opinion, both of these stances are accurate,
therefore
, in
this
 essay, I will delve into them in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, the economic
progress
 of a
country
 has been always primarily for governments for years. The main reason for
that is
 the desire to rule the world.
In addition
 to that having a huge economy provides dozens of upwards.
For instance
, high quality of life, job opportunities, lower prices in marketplaces, high ratio of workforce, strong healthcare system, and a particularly massive and powerful army.
However
, If the economy experiences a downward trend there might be poverty in the crowd,
also
, in later times society might suffer from starvation and fight with each other for food, money, or other kinds of monetary stuff and that might be the start of fallen of a
country
.
On the other hand
, educational and social
progress
 are crucial
as well as
 economic
progress
 because both of these stances determine the future of the
country
. As an example, the government must educate their society to develop the
country
 or prepare a high-quality curriculum.
Otherwise
, they might experience catastrophic declines
likewise
 the other underdeveloped countries.
Consequently
, administrations should find a balance between economic and other sorts of processes for the vital essential future of the
country
.
Submitted by Ilgım on

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Introduction/Conclusion
Ensure introduction and conclusion are clearly defined to provide a full response to the question posed. Your essay lacks a separate concluding paragraph tying together your discussion and giving your clear final opinion.
Coherence/Cohesion
Develop logical structures within paragraphs using cohesive devices, subject-specific vocabulary, and clear topic sentences.
Examples and Details
Expand on key ideas with specific, relevant examples to add depth to your discussion, rather than using generalized statements.
Task Coverage
Provide a fully developed response to the task, ensuring all parts of the prompt are addressed equally and thoroughly.
Lexical Resource
Use a varied vocabulary but ensure precision in meaning and appropriateness in context to more effectively convey your opinion.
Grammatical Range
Demonstrate a range of complex structures in grammar and sentence construction while maintaining accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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