People nowadays are living longer than before, resulting in increasing in aging population. Some people believe that this situation could create negative issues for the governments. While, others suggest there are some benefits.
People
nowadays are living longer than before, resulting in an increasingly ageing population. Some people
believe that this
situation could create negative issues for the governments. While
others suggest there are some benefits. In this
essay, both negative and positive consequences associated with this
ageing population will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached.
On the one hand, there are several benefits from increasing older citizens. One of the main key benefits is family advantage. For example
, older people
tend to play an important role in the family, by maintaining connections between members and providing emotional and educational assistance for the young. This
helps strengthen family and community. Moreover
, the business will be carried by experienced people
, especially older people
, with higher performance and reliable experience, these can increase productivity and offer sustainability for the organization. Additionally
, the abundance of knowledge of the elders can benefit society and contribute to a well-being life for everyone.
On the other hand
, some concerns are shown in an ageing era, one of the potential negative impacts of ageing is illness, these older people
require essential support from healthcare and family, leading to a rise in medical expenses for the government and their offspring. Lower birth rate is another issue, as a result
of an increased dependency rate by the elders, many young people
gain a lot of responsibilities and burdens, decreasing their desire to give birth. This
can lead to an insufficiency of the workforce for the country, leading to an organized failure in the community.
In summary, coming of the ageing era offers various advantages including being a family assistant, a business run by experienced elders and beneficence for society by their knowledge. However
, many issues are raised such
as increasing medical expenses, the burden for a family and the government, lack of workforce and a decline in the birth rate. Therefore
, the government should take responsibility by addressing these issues, ensuring a better ageing society.Submitted by sippakorn.wet on
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task achievement
For a higher score, aim to enhance the clarity and complexity of your ideas. Including varied sentence structures and more sophisticated vocabulary can show a better understanding and command of English.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-structured, improving transitions between paragraphs would increase coherence. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining the topic and summarizing the main points.
task achievement
Your key points are well-supported with relevant examples, which makes your argument more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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