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Band 6.5

Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #jobs #future
These days, people have a range of choices for selecting
work
 that they like
instead
 of the previous, so a group of the population think it is crucial that young generations choose jobs that they like
while
 the others believe that they ought to select the points that will be really good in the
future
. In my opinion, the main fact that helps societies to improve is that young people apply for job opportunities that they want owing to the fact that when they like their career spend a great deal of not only time but
also
 money on it to increase their efficiency;
as a result
, in
this
 position economy of their countries are getting better. On the one hand, if the youth designate their occupations, they won't leave their
work
 and they accept both hard situations and various money for their
work
 ;
besides
, their yield is so much because they enjoy the time when they are at
work
.
For instance
, communities who choose to
work
 in the oil refinery acknowledge their hard situations
such
 as bad weather, toxic gases, and so on; they
work
 and do not leave their jobs for unimportant reasons.
On the other hand
, when the realistic and
future
 effects on your selection, you might either leave your job after many time or choose a career that does not have a good income.
In other words
, sometimes our prediction about the
future
 will be alternating from what happened;
additionally
, for these
things
Add a comma
things,
show examples
 we choose falt destinations which do not benefit us.
In addition
, some young populations select things that they do not like ;
thereafter
, they leave it inasmuch as they cannot
work
 very well and they get mental issues.
to sum up
, it is necessary that when we want to choose a job see the
future
;
nevertheless
, the fact that the
work
 that young people like helps them to
work
 hard and enhance their
work
 and country.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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supported main points
Try to provide clearer, more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that the ideas progress logically from one paragraph to the next. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay addresses both perspectives of the issue and provides a clear opinion in the introduction.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the writer’s opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • skill development
  • market demands
  • financial stability
  • career growth
  • job security
  • income level
  • fulfilling professional life
  • personal happiness
  • career counseling
  • job market trends
  • adaptability
  • work-life balance
  • health implications
  • job automation
  • redundancy
  • emerging technologies
  • stable employment
  • motivated
  • competent
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