In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In recent advancements, technology has forced firm owners to out-shine their items on social media, OTT platforms and TV ads through outstanding packaging,
therefore
, playing with psychology, in which owners notice the behaviour of consumers and upcoming customers. I believe, it is impacting in a negative way,
while
the products have different meanings in
advertisement
and in reality.
On the other hand
, to make a brand well-known,
advertisement
plays an essential role. Commencing with the most prominent reason, promotion nowadays plays a vital role for organisations.
Firstly
, the organisations hire influencers to outstrip their product to the specific targeted audience.
For example
, An earbuds and speaker brand named "Boat" in India owned by Aman Gupta, hired a tech YouTuber to transcend their tech products like Masterpiece by unboxing items and depicting the quality.
Moreover
, after the promotion, the Boat company received an outstanding response from the audience. It clearly depicts that showing objects in a new way will definitely come up with an output. One reason why I oppose the given statement, businesses advertise their items by giving a tremendous look but,
however
, but in reality it is something else, a dull colour, low build quality Charging an anonymous quality,
furthermore
, charging an anonymous amount
for example
, recently the Pakistani influence shared an incident that after
advertisement
he ordered pizza. In which, he found a chicken bone.
This
incident emphasises that not every
advertisement
is beneficial for people. In conclusion, advertising can be beneficial,
while
customers will get what they want and the company will form an emerging engagement of consumers.
Lastly
, sometimes false
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
can lead to the customer's worse experience for that brand.
Submitted by tushalk329 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay addresses the prompt fairly well, touching on reasons why businesses emphasize newness in their advertising and providing some analysis of the effects. However, it could benefit from a clearer argumentative structure that directly addresses each question in the prompt. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that ties directly into the overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has some logical flow, but there's room for improvement in connecting ideas between and within paragraphs. Ensure that each main point logically follows from the one before. Additionally, some sentences are somewhat convoluted, which can disrupt the reader's understanding. Consider using simpler sentence structures where appropriate.
general positive
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and provides a balanced view by considering both positive and negative aspects of advertising.
The essay uses relevant examples, such as the

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: