Some children spend hours every day on smartphones? Why is this the case ? Do you think this is positive or negative development?
In the modern world, kids have tended to spend a significant amount of time on
smartphones
. This
is caused by developing technology around the world and a daily routine increasingly connected with mobile phones
. Although
smartphones
provide more resources for education and other aspects of life, but also
, for younger ages, this
can lead to a major negative impact.
Spending a big
time on Fix the agreement mistake
lot of
phones
can be harmful for many reasons. One of the main issues for children
is the loss of vision. For example
, children
who have unlimited access to phones
all day may lose proper vision. It could also
lead to mental health problems at an early stage in their life. Another problem is that overreliance on digital communication can hinder the development of face-to-face social skills and emotional intelligence. For instance
, after two or three years, children
who can only communicate through the internet without any emotional connection may struggle to find a proper way to make friends in real life which may cause a lack of face-to-face communication skills.
Looking through the drawbacks, there can be a positive side for children
. Smartphones
provide access to a vast amount of knowledge, which can support learning and curiosity. Today’s gadgets can be useful for learning more quickly and effectively through distance education. For example
, even children
in economic classes can provide themselves with a high-quality education through the internet
by accessing mobile Capitalize word
Internet
phones
. Knowledge of modern technology will be helpful for the younger generation if they use it in the proper way.
Overall
, while
there are benefits to children
using smartphones
, the negative aspects, particularly
related to physical health and mental well-being. It is important to find a balance that allows Add a missing verb
are particularly
children
to benefit from technology while
minimizing the potential harms
.Fix the agreement mistake
harm
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task response
The essay adequately addresses the task by discussing both reasons why children spend a lot of time on smartphones and whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the essay could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that specifically states your stance on whether this is mainly positive or negative.
coherence cohesion
The ideas presented in the essay are generally clear and logical, but ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Consider using more transitional phrases to improve coherence.
task response
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, particularly when discussing the negative impacts on vision and mental health. For example, you can cite studies or statistics that support these claims.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported with explanations.
coherence cohesion
The language used is precise and varied, which helps to convey the ideas effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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