Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

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One's achievements are often viewed in terms of money and materialistic possessions by most people. I disagree with

this

as I believe success varies for different individuals and it’s not just based on how much wealth they are able to accumulate.

To begin

with, a

person

can have a lot of money but still not be successful.

While

wealth might be a criterion for attainment by some, the extent of riches they have alone doesn’t make them triumphant. The happiest people are the successful ones.

For example

, a

person

might have a lot of money but because he feels he doesn’t have fake or he is not loved or because he is not happy thereby does not not feel attainment.

Moreover

, a poor

person

does not have too much affluence but because he is able to provide comfort and provision for his family feels successful. For

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

if I set a short-term goal and I am able to achieve it within the time frame,

this

makes me feel triumphant because I was able to do what I set my mind to.

Furthermore

, a man might feel successful when faced with a difficult situation and is able to overcome it.

This

being said, there are several factors that make a

person

successful. What defines a

person

's success is based on the criteria for his attainment.

This

could be the priority of his or her family, feeling of love and being loved, fame source of contentment with his or her livelihood.

Also

, being able to make an impact in the lives of others or having a happy marriage. In conclusion, in as much as wealth might be

Correct article usage

a criteria

show examples

criteria

Fix the agreement mistake

criterion

show examples

for success, riches alone

doesn’t

Correct subject-verb agreement

don’t

show examples

make a

person

successful. Individuals all have different views of what makes them successful, be it being able to overcome a difficult situation, fame or a happy home.

Submitted by horukotanemmanuel on Fri Nov 17 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure the essay has a clear and logical structure, utilizing paragraphs effectively to organize arguments. Ideas are better expressed when each paragraph centers around a single main point with supporting sentences following logically.

coherence cohesion

While there is an introduction and conclusion present, both could be improved for clarity and impact. The introduction should more clearly state the thesis, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize key points without introducing new information.

task achievement

Make sure to back up main points with relevant, detailed examples, this strengthens your arguments and shows a deeper understanding of the topic. Aim to provide specific examples that directly support your claims about success and wealth.

task achievement

Address all parts of the prompt throughout the essay. Ensure your response is complete by fully exploring the various dimensions of the question posed about success and wealth, linking them to the definition of a successful person.

task achievement

Strive for clear, comprehensive ideas that are well-developed within the essay. Avoid overly complex sentences that can detract from the clarity of your argument. Simplicity and precision are often more effective in communicating complex ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

Fully explain your ideas

The media has become too influential in peoples lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write about the following topic:250 words The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.-

to what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

Large-scale festivals attract tourists, bring economic benefits to an area, while taking away the local culture. Discuss the adv and the dav

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.