Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?
One's achievements are often viewed in terms of money and materialistic possessions by most people. I disagree with
this
as I believe success varies for different individuals and it’s not just based on how much wealth they are able to accumulate.
To begin
with, a person
can have a lot of money but still not be successful. While
wealth might be a criterion for attainment by some, the extent of riches they have alone doesn’t make them triumphant. The happiest people are the successful ones. For example
, a person
might have a lot of money but because he feels he doesn’t have fake or he is not loved or because he is not happy thereby does not not feel attainment. Moreover
, a poor person
does not have too much affluence but because he is able to provide comfort and provision for his family feels successful. For example
if I set a short-term goal and I am able to achieve it within the time frame, Add a comma
example,
this
makes me feel triumphant because I was able to do what I set my mind to. Furthermore
, a man might feel successful when faced with a difficult situation and is able to overcome it.
This
being said, there are several factors that make a person
successful. What defines a person
's success is based on the criteria for his attainment. This
could be the priority of his or her family, feeling of love and being loved, fame source of contentment with his or her livelihood. Also
, being able to make an impact in the lives of others or having a happy marriage.
In conclusion, in as much as wealth might be Correct article usage
a criteria
criteria
for success, riches alone Fix the agreement mistake
criterion
doesn’t
make a Correct subject-verb agreement
don’t
person
successful. Individuals all have different views of what makes them successful, be it being able to overcome a difficult situation, fame or a happy home.Submitted by horukotanemmanuel on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear and logical structure, utilizing paragraphs effectively to organize arguments. Ideas are better expressed when each paragraph centers around a single main point with supporting sentences following logically.
coherence cohesion
While there is an introduction and conclusion present, both could be improved for clarity and impact. The introduction should more clearly state the thesis, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize key points without introducing new information.
task achievement
Make sure to back up main points with relevant, detailed examples, this strengthens your arguments and shows a deeper understanding of the topic. Aim to provide specific examples that directly support your claims about success and wealth.
task achievement
Address all parts of the prompt throughout the essay. Ensure your response is complete by fully exploring the various dimensions of the question posed about success and wealth, linking them to the definition of a successful person.
task achievement
Strive for clear, comprehensive ideas that are well-developed within the essay. Avoid overly complex sentences that can detract from the clarity of your argument. Simplicity and precision are often more effective in communicating complex ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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