IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that newspaper are best media to learn and get information from, while others believe that internet is a better source.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays there are large sources for accessing the
news
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, so
this
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 will be an argument about which is more reliable between online and paper. I will describe the pros and cons of each one of them in my essay. On the one hand, newspaper companies have lots of professional officials to supervise the information which they give to the public,
therefore
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 it will be a more reliable source for getting accurate
data
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.
For example
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, in these types of companies, a team exists to research happenings, and they consider the truth of the information and access the accuracy of details.
However
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, the quality of
this
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 information is better than that of other resources, but
also
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 it has huge costs for the government.
For instance
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, the expenses of the individuals who are their workforce are overwhelming, and it definitely has effects on the environment by deforestation for paper produce and delivery process.
On the other hand
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, at present
due to
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 the new technology,
data
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 is provided via social media and the internet. Accessibility to
this
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news
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 is very comfortable and it will not cost a lot. People can read daily
news
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 just by turning on the television or scrolling their social media.
Additionally
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, the speed of
this
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 way is much higher than in the traditional spreading of
news
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,
data
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 are frequently up-to-date, and you will be aware of the events that are happening over the world immediately. It
also
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 has some disadvantages
such
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 as delivering fake
news
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 from unreliable sources because there are no roles for observation and supervision of them yet. In conclusion,
while
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 newspapers have fundamental ways of bringing the
news
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 to the public, other sources
such
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 as the Internet exist and they have become more popular among people. It will be good to consider some observation rules to spread
data
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 on social media.

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task achievement
Your essay covers both viewpoints and provides a balanced discussion, which is good. However, it would be beneficial to delve deeper into your arguments and provide more detailed examples to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
While the logical structure of your essay is generally clear, the introduction could be more specific about what you will discuss, rather than simply stating there will be a discussion. Your topic sentences should also more clearly introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points well, but it could also restate your opinion more emphatically to leave a strong final impression on the reader.
task achievement
You have successfully compared and contrasted both media forms, which demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure—introduction, body paragraphs discussing each viewpoint, and conclusion—is logical and easy to follow.
supported main points
You highlighted relevant issues related to costs and reliability, which adds depth to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliable sources
  • fact-checking
  • curated content
  • editorial process
  • delayed reporting
  • constraints
  • real-time updates
  • perspectives
  • information overload
  • editorial oversight
  • misinformation
  • critical evaluation
  • navigating
  • immediacy
  • breadth
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