Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Technology has been developed at the speed of light in the
last
few decades. Some people think that this
situation has a great impact on the number of employment while
others are opposed to it. However
, I strongly agree with the given statement due to
several reasons such
as more use of gadgets and Internet services and the following paragraphs will expatiate both stances in detail with lucid examples.
To begin
with, the foremost reason to agree is that the growing number of engines is not only making human beings less active in their roles but also
decreasing the ratio of employees in companies, especially factories. In addition
, there are a number of robots developed to provide benefits to companies. A
70% of jobs, Correct article usage
apply
for instance
, are done by motors in plastic factories like checking colour and making different shapes of products. Therefore
, the advancements in motors are playing an essential role in the work areas.
Moreover
, the huge development of the Internet can be another reason for unemployment in the upcoming years. To explain further
, the use of the web is increasing day by day in all sectors from the post office to the health sector. Millions of individuals, for example
, are laid off from their jobs because of online services such
as postmen and call centre workers. Hence
, the benefit of the web could be one of the main issues for individuals in a few years.
To conclude
, there has been a big debate about machinery work and whether it has an effect on human jobs or not. Some folks believe that there could be a few working stations in the future because of advancement in the areas whereas
others are opposed to it. Nevertheless
, I believe that a huge area of work will be covered by these gadgets in the future.Submitted by buttargurpinder73 on
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task achievement
The essay discusses the rise of technology and its impact on employment, which is relevant to the task. However, the extent of agreement or disagreement could be articulated more clearly by taking a definitive stance and exploring this stance throughout the essay. Presenting a balanced argument while keeping a clear position would improve task response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure could be enhanced by better paragraphing, clear topic sentences, and cohesive devices. Transitions between paragraphs need to be smoother. Using a wider range of linking words to show contrast, cause, and effect or to add information would help the reader follow the argument more easily.
lexical resource
Expand your lexical resource by varying your vocabulary. Avoid repetition of words like 'motors' and 'technology,' and try using synonyms. Employ advanced vocabulary that is specific to the topic. Furthermore, be careful with collocations and word forms to ensure accuracy.
grammatical range accuracy
There are minor grammatical errors present in the essay, such as 'engines' used instead of 'machines,' and 'web' which may be better expressed as 'Internet' in formal writing. Be sure to review subject-verb agreement and article use. Explore complex sentence structures to demonstrate a wider grammatical range and control.
