IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #future
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It is suggested that
people
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, especially the younger generation, should prioritise saving
money
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 for future plans.
While
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 I accept that it is essential to have savings, I
also
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 believe that
people
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 need to use their
money
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 wisely in some circumstances. On the one hand, I assume that saving
money
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 for the future is crucial for several reasons.The first reason is that it brings
people
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 financial security. To be more specific, when unexpected issues happen,
such
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 as sickness or traffic accidents, which would cost a review of
money
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,
people
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 could use their savings to pay for that
instead
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 of borrowing
money
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 from the bank. The second reason is that saving
money
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 at a young age could form
people
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's good financial habits and make them more independent in making decisions about their lives and careers.
Therefore
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, it releases burdens on their families and societies.
On the other hand
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, I suppose that it is necessary to enjoy your youth by spending
money
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instead
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 of saving it.
For example
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,
people
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 could travel in order to heal their mental health owing to stress and hardships in daily life.
Furthermore
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, there are many young
people
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 who have low incomes so they do not have enough
money
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 to cover their expenses when setting aside
money
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.
As a result
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, they might not have an opportunity to live more comfortably, leading to several health problems. In conclusion,
while
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 it is true that saving
money
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 may bring
people
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 a number of advantages, it seems to me that it is not always a viable option for everyone, particularly for
people
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 with limited conditions and those wanting to enjoy youth.
Submitted by ng.hg.ly28 on

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coherence cohesion
Clear and comprehensive introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main arguments effectively.
task achievement
The essay responds well to the prompt, presenting both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas, making it easy to follow your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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