Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the ancient days, people used to walk and travel by bull carts without producing any
pollution
. In recent decades after the invention of machinery, factories and
vehicles
have emitted carbon
gases
into the atmosphere damaging the Ozone layer. Many people argue that these issues cannot be solved by the citizens and say that it is a global issue,
while
others believe that contamination of dangerous
gases
can be stopped by individual nations if take some precautions. I completely agree if some rules and regulations are imposed on
countries
and the public , it can make our globe safe.
Firstly
, there are many methods to stop
pollution
on the earth. The most important strategy is to stop the
use
of diesel and petrol
vehicles
, so less
pollution
will be emitted into the air. Another factor is to reduce the
use
of fossil fuels in factories, which emit smoke and dangerous
gases
.
For example
, many big industries in developed
countries
such
as paper mills, sugar mills and chemical industries are emitting 24-hour smoke into the sky, which results in transmitting
gases
affecting many people’s health and disturbing the ecosystem.
Secondly
, another primary reason is the treaty must be signed by all nations and agreed to emit a certain level of carbon into the atmosphere, so it can reduce
pollution
.
In addition
, everybody must take personal responsibility to
use
fewer diesel
vehicles
and
instead
to
use
battery-operated motors,
such
as electronic cars and public transport.
For instance
, the Chinese Government is supporting its citizens to
use
electric
vehicles
and giving subsidies. In conclusion, following the analysis of how
pollution
can be reduced and the involvement of the public and
countries
,
it is clear that
if people
use
public transport and battery-operated
vehicles
and different
countries
sign treaties and agree to reduce contamination levels, it can help to save the earth.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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task achievement
Strengthen the introduction by more clearly stating your position and structuring the main points to be discussed later.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single clear main idea with strong supporting evidence.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the use of linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your argument in each paragraph is consistently relevant to the main topic of the essay.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your position clearly.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples, such as references to Chinese initiatives for electric vehicles.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the issue by discussing historical context and existing problems.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • collective action
  • climate change
  • rising sea levels
  • extreme weather events
  • biodiversity loss
  • ecosystems
  • Convention on Biological Diversity
  • significant improvements
  • sovereignty
  • environmental policies
  • international collaboration
  • environmental degradation
  • shared responsibility
  • technological advances
  • innovative solutions
  • international cooperation
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