IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays in many countries young people don’t communicate with older people as much as they used to. Why is this happening? How could this situation be improved?

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In recent years, it has become increasingly common for younger generations to avoid
communication
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 with older
individuals
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 in many countries. In
this
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 essay, I will explore some of the reasons behind
this
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 phenomenon and suggest some practical measures to address it. There are various factors contributing to
this
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 trend. The first is the rise of technology and social media, which has led to a shift in
communication
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 patterns. Younger
individuals
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 tend to prefer communicating through social media platforms and messaging apps rather than face-to-face interaction.
As a result
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, they may not feel comfortable or confident engaging in personal conversations with older
individuals
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. Another factor is a growing generation gap between young and old people in many countries, which can be attributed to differences in values, attitudes, and lifestyles. Young people may feel that they have little in common with older generations and
therefore
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 do not see the need for interaction. To address
this
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 issue, there are several steps that can be taken.
Firstly
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, families must play a crucial role in promoting
communication
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 across the generations. Parents should encourage their children to interact with older relatives and emphasise the value of learning from their experiences. Another possible solution is that social media companies are encouraged to develop platforms that foster intergenerational
communication
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 by,
for instance
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, creating groups that bring together people of different ages who share common interests. Schools and universities could
also
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 introduce programs that promote intergenerational interaction,
such
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 as organising regular events where younger and older
individuals
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 can interact in a comfortable and relaxed setting. In conclusion, the decline in intergenerational
communication
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 is a worrying trend in many countries. Only through the measures discussed can we hope to bridge the generation gap and build a more connected and cohesive society.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly links back to your main argument, reinforcing the overall message of the essay.
task achievement
Expand on your examples with more specific details or anecdotes to strengthen your points.
task achievement
Consider adding a counterargument or alternative perspective to demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining the key points.
task achievement
You have identified relevant factors and practical measures addressing the issue, showing good task response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Generational gap
  • Technological advancements
  • Social media
  • Face-to-face communication
  • Tech-savvy
  • Urbanization
  • Busy lifestyles
  • Cultural shifts
  • Elder respect
  • Educational pressures
  • Career pressures
What to do next:
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