Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, inspite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A large group of individuals
believes
that Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
years
when Correct article usage
the years
people
are adolescents are the happiest years in the lives
of most, while
others think that despite more responsibilities, as adults
people
have more happiness. This
essay strongly agrees that adults
are happier than teenagers
.
It may be considered that teenagers
are very happy, but in reality, most of them are not, due to
several reasons. People
change in their teens very much: their bodies change, their values, life ideas, morals and so on. It also
should be mentioned that many changes are observed in their mental health. Adolescents try to find their inner "I", which is difficult. Owing to all those reasons they face so much stress and problems, moreover
, hormonal changes and imbalances also
affect them. As a result
, most of them feel unsatisfied and unhappy. Recent researches by University College London demonstrate that 87.5% of teenagers
feel unhappy with their lives
, additionally
, 61.3% thought about suicide at least once.
Many people
state that adulthood brings more happiness and it really does. Of course, being an adult is difficult because they have great responsibilities. But adults
make crucial decisions themselves, they mostly feel no pressure, as they are independent. They have already found themselves, so they know who they are, and what they want from this
life. Adults
understand that their lives
are under their control and they face both good and bad things as a result
of actions they have done. In contrast
with teenagers
, this
is much better and causes less stress. Moreover
, according to
the results of the interview which was held in Berkeley, California by the channel NTV 1, 211 of 250 interviewed people
claim that being an adult is easier than being a teenager and that they would never want to return in their teens.
To conclude
, some individuals believe that teenagers
are more happy, others
disagree and state that Correct word choice
while others
adults
have more happiness in their lives
. However
, this
essay strongly supports the idea that although
adults
have greater responsibilities, they are still happier than teenagers
, as they find themselves and understand how life goes.Submitted by i.nureddinn on
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task achievement
To improve Task Response, consider acknowledging counterarguments more thoroughly. While your essay presents both sides, the discussion of the opposing viewpoint could be expanded to show a deeper understanding of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, work on ensuring smoother transitions between ideas. The essay is well-structured, but linking words and phrases could help connect ideas more naturally.
coherence cohesion
In the future, enhance the logical structure by breaking down paragraphs into more specific aspects of the argument. For example, separate points about mental health, identity challenges, and hormone changes in teenagers rather than grouping them all in one paragraph.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and sets up the topic well, presenting both views and clearly stating your stance.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, such as the research by University College London and the interview results in Berkeley, California.
supported main points
Each paragraph is focused on a single idea and provides evidence to support that idea, which is good for clarity and coherence.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example