IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. DO you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
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The debate around shortening the working week and extending
weekend
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weekends
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 has gained attention recently. Personally,
i
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I
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 tend to think that
such
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 changes would be beneficial for both individuals and society as a whole. One of the main reasons behind
that is
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 a lot of people nowadays don’t have any motivation to
work
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. The employees often feel stressed and exhausted, because of the overwhelming schedule.
According to
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the
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apply
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recent research
of
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by
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the
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a
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 German psychologist and scientist, 59% of
the
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apply
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workers
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, which is more than
a
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apply
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half, don’t have
a
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the
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 desire to go to
the
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apply
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work
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. By having more free
time
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,
workers
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 have
opportunity
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the opportunity
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 to spend more
time
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 with family or friends. The people will return to the job full of energy and enthusiasm, ready to
work
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.
This
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 would lead to
the
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a
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work
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-life balance and an
overall
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 increase
of
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in
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the
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apply
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well-being.
Additionally
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, a shorter workweek can significantly improve the productivity of the
workers
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. Contrary to the belief that longer working hours lead to more output, research reveals that
workers
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 are not necessarily more productive when they
work
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 more hours.
The burnout
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Burnout
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 often
reduce
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reduces
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 efficiency and
cause
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causes
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 mistakes. By allowing
workers
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 more
time
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 to rest, they could return to
work
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 feeling more focused and energized, completing tasks in a shorter amount of
time
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 with greater concentration. Several companies,
such
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 as Apple,
Google
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and Google
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, have experimented with a four-day workweek and viewed the increase
of
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in
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the
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apply
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productivity. In conclusion, the merits of the implementation of shorter working
week
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weeks
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 and longer
weekend
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weekends
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, including the improvement of the well-being of
workers
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 and the rise of
the
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apply
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productivity, outweigh
drawbacks
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the drawbacks
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.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, providing a solid framework for your essay.
task achievement
You have successfully provided relevant specific examples, such as the study by the German psychologist and the policies of Apple and Google, which strengthen your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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