Some people think that competition at work, at schooland in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to coctate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #competition #work #schooland #life #coctate

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A crowd of

people

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think that

competition

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at the part of life, more precisely at work, at school and in daily life is not a good thing.

While

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I believe that comparing with

others

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has more advantages than disadvantages. On the

one

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hand , a

lot

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people

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get stressed when they lose. More

people

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boast about them.

While

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others

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cry, are frustrated and are disappointed by their bad performance. It is obvious that not every kid or human is smart. So, after a

lot

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of lost contracts, they can accept the fact, that they are really weak than

others

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However

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, their opponent can be really smartest

people

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this

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city or maybe even in

this

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country. So, it means that

people

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who studied with them just got stuck. Because they studied with champions and thought that they were really stupid.

For instance

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, I used to study math olympian. And in my

group

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was the smartest kid I have ever seen. So, I left

this

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group

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because I was always frustrated because of comparing with

this

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guy. After 5 years, I read that

this

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guy got a gold medal in the International Math Olympiad.

On the other hand

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, everything that kills us

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apply

show examples

makes us stronger. If there is no

competition

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people

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do not have any goals. But if there is really

competition

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, a

lot

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people

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become eager to win over

others

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For instance

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, China is the most technologically advanced country in the world. The main reason for

this

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competition

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. The average IQ of Chinese is far more than

others

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. I can surely say that

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apply

show examples

any Chinese kid is smarter than teenagers of another country.

For instance

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, if

one

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teenager wins the republic

competition

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in China,

this

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teenager can win the International

competition

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. In conclusion, I wanna write

one

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fact. If in

one

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group

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there will not be

competition

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, probably

this

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group

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will not be international winners. But if there is

competition

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as in China, they have a

lot

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of chance to win. For sure, they should not give up

Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on Sun Sep 15 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines both perspectives and directly states your opinion with clarity

coherence cohesion

Develop your main points with more depth and provide a balanced discussion of both viewpoints. Ensure your arguments are logically structured

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay by using clear topic sentences to introduce each paragraph and linking words to connect ideas smoothly

task achievement

Make sure you address each part of the task prompt fully. While you discuss both viewpoints and provide an opinion, ensure each is given adequate exploration and balance

task achievement

Include relevant and specific examples to support your arguments comprehensively. The examples should be more clearly linked to the points being made

task achievement

You provided examples to support your arguments and made an attempt to discuss both views, which is critical for this task

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion reiterates your opinion and ties back to the points made in the body of the essay, providing closure to your argument

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

341 words

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Some people think that competition at work, at schooland in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to coctate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some countires, owning a house rather than renting one is very important for people

in many counties, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.