Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs. How true is this statement? What influences people when they buy food?
Nowadays, most
people
tend to be careless about the fact behind ultraprocessed
Correct your spelling
ultra-processed
ultra processed
food
as they are more concern
about the spending on their groceries. In my opinion, many Replace the word
concerned
people
could not care less about what kind of food
they are consuming as long as it is still in their budget.
In modern society, instant food
has become a trend for its efficiency. Most people
would prefer to have supermarket food
because it is easier to cook and cost
less compared to Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
the
regular Correct article usage
apply
meal
regardless of the ingredients Fix the agreement mistake
meals
contains
in Wrong verb form
contained
those
processed Correct determiner usage
apply
food
. As a result
, this
kind of diet has affected the health of the majority of people
in many countries. For instance
, in the United States when the number of citizens who consume ultraprocessed food
is increasing, it is followed by the rise of diabetes cases. In addition
, many companies have put the label
of ingredients and nutrition facts Fix the agreement mistake
labels
in
their products, Change preposition
on
however
, only a few people
who
are aware enough to read Correct pronoun usage
apply
it
before Correct pronoun usage
them
add
Change the verb form
adding
it
to their Correct pronoun usage
them
groceries
cart at the supermarket. Most Fix the agreement mistake
grocery
people
would look at the price first to decide whether or not they should buy any instant food
.
It is arguably
that there are certain factors that affect Change the word
arguable
people
decision Change noun form
people's
in buying
Change preposition
to buy
meal
. The majority of Add an article
a meal
people
believe that economic factor has the biggest influence on diet. For example
, those from lower class family
who Fix the agreement mistake
families
lives
in urban areas do not have any choices but to eat anything they Correct subject-verb agreement
live
could
afford. Educational background is the second reason that Wrong verb form
can
influence
many Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
people
Change noun form
people's
food
preference
. Those with health Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
background
Change the noun form
backgrounds
such
as nutritians
or doctors usually have Correct your spelling
nutritionists
the
understanding of healthy and nutritious Correct article usage
an
food
. Therefore
, they tend to control their diet to maintain their health.
As far as I am concerned, it is true that many people
still do not have the
awareness of how their Correct article usage
an
food
is produced due to
their tight budget. Moreover
, food
choices also
depend on economic conditions and educational background.
WORDS: 329Submitted by raymond.sebastianvl on
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task achievement
Consider providing more relevant and specific examples to reinforce your arguments, making your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure your ideas are fully developed with more detailed explanations and connections between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines your stance on the topic, making it evident to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example