Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is argued by some that by building more sports facilities, improvement in

overall

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public

health

Use synonyms

can be achieved. Others suggest looking for alternate approaches as

this

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would not have a significant impact.

While

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building more activity centres would help people stay fit, I believe that constructing more modern public healthcare units will benefit individuals in

this

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regard. Gyms and fitness studios can assist folks in maintaining physical

health

Use synonyms

through various workouts like weight training, cardio etc. Working out on a regular basis or at proper intervals ensures that some concerns like cholesterol, orthopaedic pain, and even mental

well being

Add a hyphen

well-being

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etc are in check.

As a result

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, the physiological and psychological conditions of a human are improved here.

For example

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, a study by AIIMS Delhi stated that Chandigarh, a state of India, has seen the least admits in public and private hospitals because of their constant focus on enrolling their people in Akhadas, a kind of

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

open gym.

However

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this

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is not sufficient because fatal

health

Use synonyms

issues cannot be treated by simply hitting the gym.

Therefore

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, state authorities should look towards establishing new hospitals and nursing homes which are state-of-the-art. As the number increases, more hospital beds

would

Wrong verb form

will

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be available.

Hence

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, citizens would be able to undergo more medical

scrutinies

Fix the agreement mistake

scrutiny

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, routine follow-ups and much more.

This

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in turn would uplift the average

health

Use synonyms

index of the society.

For instance

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, during the

Covid-19

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

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pandemic's second wave in 2021, every country around the world required more hospital beds than ever to cater to patients affected by the flu. Because of

this

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demand, many fitness studios were

also

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converted to treatment centres to take in more patients.

This

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is why, I believe that more modern public

health

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clinics are required over sports facilities. In conclusion, we require more investments in the healthcare domain to build more modern hospitals to better the average physiological conditions of a region and only relying on building activity centres is ill-advised.

majumdarnilesh21Mon Sep 16 2024

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task achievement

Ensure to maintain a balance between both perspectives. While your essay strongly supports the idea of modern healthcare facilities, it could benefit from a more thorough exploration of how sports facilities can improve public health, giving equal weight to both sides of the argument.

coherence cohesion

Work on polishing your transitions between paragraphs. For example, using more varied transition phrases could help in making your points flow better from one to another. Although the essay is clear, improving the logical structure would strengthen your argument.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are strong, effectively setting up and wrapping up the essay. This provides good framing for your argument.

relevant specific examples

The essay contains relevant and specific examples, such as the study by AIIMS Delhi and the situation during the Covid-19 pandemic, which help to clearly illustrate your points.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The family has a great influence on children’s development but the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part in children’s life. Do you agree or disagree?

experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, where as now suffer from loneliness and health problems. what are the causes of this and what are some solutions.

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopement next year

Some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education but others think that this is not the govrnment's reseponsibility. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?