Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #exercise #time #health

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In today's society, many individuals are struggling to work out during the week and

also

on weekends when most of the population has a

day

off, resulting in health

problems

This

essay will argue why

this

is happening and how

this

problem can be tackled.

Firstly

, one of the main reasons why people are not doing enough exercise during working days is

due to

the overloaded "list to do", leading to an endless list impossible to complete.

For instance

, my boss always puts in so many daily tasks and he ends up working overtime every

day

trying to complete it, which is a thing that never happens.

Moreover

, it results in working more than 12 hours per

day

, finishing the

day

without the energy to do anything else than drinking beer, and

consequently

having

problems

such

as being overweight.

Secondly

, a way to approach

this

matter is by improving the daily schedule

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and writing down goals that could be achievable

at the end

of the

day

In addition

, another way to tackle

this

issue is working per hour,

instead

of working per task, in that way it would not matter if you unaccomplished a task, you will be able to finish it the next

day

. A clear example, was when my company started to be really strict with the number of hours worked every week, making sure everyone had enough time in the afternoons giving them the opportunity to exercise after work.

to sum up

this

essay has exposed the

problems

related to working long hours and given some solutions,

such

as an achievable "list to do " and a strict time sheet. If

such

measures are taken it would reduce

problems

related to the health of the population.

Submitted by jimeilaria on Tue Sep 17 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you plan to discuss, providing a stronger roadmap for the reader.

Task Achievement

Make sure to develop each main point more fully. Consider adding more specific examples or evidence to support your claims.

Coherence & Cohesion

Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing your main points more effectively and reinforcing the essay's overall message.

Coherence & Cohesion

Avoid small grammatical errors and strive for more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and demonstrate your language proficiency.

Task Achievement

You have clearly identified the main issues and provided potential solutions, addressing both parts of the task prompt effectively.

Task Achievement

Your examples are relevant and help illustrate your points, making your arguments more persuasive.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Time constraints
Sedentary lifestyle
Passive leisure activities
Workplace wellness programs
Active commuting
Subsidized
Public awareness
Health benefits
Incentivizing
Accessible public spaces

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