‏Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some argue that
crime
stems from external factors
such
as poverty and various social challenges,
while
others contend that it arises from individuals who are bad by nature.
This
essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I believe that social circumstances play a larger role in causing
crime
. On the one hand, many believe that
crime
happens because of difficult life circumstances. Poverty, unemployment, and
lack
of education are often seen as reasons why
people
turn to
crime
.
For example
, individuals who grow up in poor
neighborhoods
Change the spelling
neighbourhoods
show examples
may feel they have no choice but to commit
crimes
to survive. The
lack
of opportunities and financial hardship can push
people
into illegal activities
such
as theft or drug dealing.
Moreover
, social problems like inequality and discrimination can
also
lead to frustration and anger, making
crime
more likely. Supporters of
this
view argue that if society improves these
conditions
,
crime
rates will decrease.
On the other hand
, some
people
believe that
crime
is caused by a person’s nature.
According to
this
view, some individuals are born with traits that make them more likely to commit
crimes
. These traits could be a
lack
of empathy, aggression, or impulsive
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
This
group argues that even in good social
conditions
, some
people
will still commit
crimes
because of their personality or mental health issues.
For example
, serial killers or violent criminals often come from normal backgrounds but still engage in serious
crimes
.
Therefore
, supporters of
this
idea believe that it is not just social problems that lead to
crime
but
also
bad personal characteristics. In conclusion,
while
some argue that
crime
is primarily caused by inherent personal traits, others believe it stems from social
conditions
like poverty and inequality.
Although
both arguments have their merits, I maintain that improving social
conditions
is essential. By addressing issues
such
as
lack
of education and economic hardship, society can more effectively reduce
crime
rates.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
To further enhance your task response, ensure that you provide even more specific examples and elaborate slightly more on the opposing viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand the overall argument.
task achievement
Each point is supported with relevant examples, which strengthens the argument and fulfills the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure throughout, making it easy to follow the argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic desperation
  • limited access to education
  • joblessness
  • social environment
  • mental health issues
  • personality disorders
  • genetic factors
  • moral deviation
  • antisocial behavior
  • influence of peer groups
  • lack of empathy
  • crime rates
  • social issues
  • external factors
  • intrinsic
  • predisposed
  • reinforce
  • perpetuate
  • normalize
  • helplessness
  • frustration
  • remorse
  • ethical values
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