IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environment problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals #environment
In today's world, many more people believe that the main environmental issue we face is losing some kinds of animals and plants.
This
 has raised worries among some that it might lead to problems in their lives
such
 as the balance in the environment and some types of animals and plants will disappear.
However
, I have a different way of looking that we have to pay attention more to other environmental
issues
 like climate change, the increasing
level
 of seas, and global warming, which I explain in
this
 essay. There are a few reasons why I think we should focus on solving climate change, and global warming
in addition
 to increasing the sea
level
. The main reason is that the
issues
 I mention above are global
issues
 related to all countries
for example
 when we study climate change and the effect on the
level
 of the sea that's threatening every coast city in the world to clarify that 70 % of Dubi will be sinking if the sea
level
 increase 2 m and we find the same situation in Alexandria,
furthermore
, the global warming cause to increasing the burn green areas around the world and that cause to increasing desert percentage in all countries.
On the other hand
, the concern of the people who focus on the loss of biodiversity is justified because the extinction of specific
species
 disrupts ecosystems and can lead to unforeseen environmental consequences. Even the problem might expand to damage to Ecological Balance Certain
species
 play critical roles in their environments,
such
 as pollinators and keystone
species
, whose loss can lead to the collapse of entire ecosystems
To sum up
, I believe that we should focus and work hard on the major environmental problems in parallel to work with the micro
level
 to include all types of
issues
for example
 we need to follow an Integrated Approach by addressing broad environmental
issues
 that often benefit efforts to conserve individual
species
 and vice versa.
Submitted by ahmadaldigges on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your points are fully supported with specific examples and detailed explanations. For instance, while mentioning the effect of global warming causing green areas to burn, it would be helpful to provide a concrete example or statistic.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are a bit lengthy and could benefit from being broken down into shorter, clearer statements to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
task achievement
The essay shows a solid grasp of environmental issues and presents both sides of the argument objectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • ecological balance
  • pollinators
  • keystone species
  • extinction
  • ecosystem services
  • pollination
  • water purification
  • climate regulation
  • climate change
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • environmental degradation
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • conservation
  • sustainability
  • preservation
  • habitat destruction
  • endangered species
What to do next:
Look at other essays: