The organizer of the annual festival is going to organize a festival in your place. Write a letter to the organizer giving feedback for last year and suggestions for this year. In your letter, you should: give your feedback for the last festival tell him/her what you can do for the new festival suggestions about the new festival.

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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
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letter regarding the upcoming annual local games festival in our area. I found that
this
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festival is being organised by your Sunpharma Company. At the onset, let me apprise you with the feedback on
last
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year
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’s festival, which was a great success. Where children were so glad
due to
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many playful activities, adults were excited to show their talents in the local talent hunt show and the prize for the winner was $10000.
Further
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, our volunteering team of 40 members helped in the car parking
last
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year
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and everybody praised a lot about our work.
This
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year
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, if you allow us to impart our identical duties
this
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year
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, our team will be happy to work without any cost for the best parking arrangements.
Lastly
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, I would like to inquire about some details for
this
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upcoming event. Though like every
year
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it is a festival to present our community culture, I want to know
this
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year
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’s theme for it
along with
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a special event like a talent hunt.
Moreover
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, send some details about the setup of
this
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festival, which will help us to plan parking areas according. Thanking you in anticipation. Yours faithfully, Jacob Brown.
Submitted by mayuri_3006 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific details or suggestions for the new festival to enhance your feedback and offer actionable insights.
coherence cohesion
You might want to divide your paragraphs more distinctly; for example, separate the feedback for the last festival and your offer for this year into different paragraphs for better clarity.
greeting and closing
Clear and appropriate greeting and closing, which adds to the formal tone of the letter.
logical structure
The letter flows logically and is easy to follow, which makes it coherent and cohesive.
suitable writing tone
Maintains a polite and formal tone throughout, which is suitable for this type of letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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