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Band 5

Some people like to read online newspapers, on the other hand, others prefer to read paper based newspapers.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #newspapers #hand #paper
When it comes to the issue of reading
newspapers
, a significant
number
 of inhabitants stand with different kinds of views.
While
 a good
number
 of individuals tend to read online
newspapers
, others seem to prefer
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
show examples
newspapers
.
However
, I am going to outline both sides of
this
 issue prior to giving a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, a great
number
 of merits come from the
first
 statement in many ways. The
first
 and foremost point is that reading online
newspapers
 comes up with the most updated
news
 for everyone. To cite an example, as all sorts of online
newspapers
 tend to keep us updated with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very recent affairs, we are more likely to get those
news
 whenever it takes place. Another Worth mentioning point is that it
also
 helps us in order to read a couple of
news
 sites at a time. To give an example, with the help of
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
technological gadgets, we can have an opportunity
so as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to visit various types of
newspapers
for generating
Change preposition
to generate
show examples
 more information.
Last
 but not least, we are
also
 able to read any kind of
news
 whenever and wherever we want as it seems to be portable.
However
, it
also
 seems to be more likely to come up with a couple of advantages from the second statement.
To begin
 with the traditional view, it carries our traditional
For example
, 1818 was the year when
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
 printed newspaper was published in our country. Another
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
striking point is that
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
show examples
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 are good for our eyesight.
For instance
, when we use smart
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
 for a long time it affects
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
eye
Fix the agreement mistake
eyes
show examples
.
To sum up
, having illustrated both sides of
this
 affair, I would like to state my opinion that I strongly agree with the
first
 statement as it comes up with a good
number
 of merits.
Submitted by belmontsy01 on

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task achievement
To improve your essay, provide a clearer distinction between the advantages of both online and paper-based newspapers. Ensure that each point is well supported with specific details or examples.
coherence cohesion
You can enhance coherence and cohesion by including more transitional phrases to smoothly lead the reader from one point to another. Additionally, consider restructuring some sentences for clearer flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting a coherent argument.
task achievement
The points supporting each viewpoint are relevant and showcase an understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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