IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

One of your friends has asked you to be a partner in his new business. Write a letter to reply to your friend’s offer. In your letter -Give your opinion of your friend’s business idea. - Tell him whether or not you have decided to accept his offer - and explain your reasons for this decision.

Dear Amrit, How are you? I hope you've been well. I read the letter you sent
last
Linking Words
 week, and I am glad to hear that you decided to start a business. The notion of opening a food truck in Brantford is great.
Moreover
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, there are not many Indian restaurants in Brantford as compared to the population of Indian people living there. I am really grateful that you
given
Verb problem
have given
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 me a chance to become your partner in
this
Linking Words
 new adventure. You will be over the moon after listening that I am ready to be a part of
this
Linking Words
 business. I decided to become a partner after careful consideration. I even talked with my friend who runs a cafe in India. He mentioned that food trucks are quite popular these days, and
youngsteers
Correct your spelling
young people
 really love to
hangout
Use the right word
hang out
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 at these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of locations.
Also
Linking Words
, my friend has agreed to share his famous
receipes
Correct your spelling
recipes
 with us, which we can definitely include in our menu.
Additionally
Linking Words
, we can discuss the investment amount
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and the location of
food
Correct article usage
the food
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 truck when we meet next time. I can't wait to see you. Your friend, Arjun

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task achievement
Try to add a little more detail about your feelings regarding the business idea. It helps to express your thoughts clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using clearer paragraph breaks for different ideas. This could help the reader follow your thoughts better.
coherence and cohesion
Your greeting and closing are friendly and warm, which is great for a personal letter.
task achievement
You clearly stated your decision to join the business and provided reasons for it, which is important.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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