Some people argue the government should support the funds for arts, while others suggest the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, with economic growth, there has been a significant increase in both
material
Correct article usage
the material
show examples
and spiritual needs of citizens.
However
Linking Words
, people hold different views about the allocation of
government
Use synonyms
funds. Some individuals argue that the
government
Use synonyms
should prioritize healthcare and educational fields. One main reason in favour of
this
Linking Words
view is that governments have the responsibility because they impose tax on almost all workers having a monthly income.
Thus
Linking Words
, they should reward those taxpayers with health care and education.
Besides
Linking Words
, health care and education are basic human rights and needs.
However
Linking Words
, the truth is that there exist some deprived and homeless people who cannot access them easily
due to
Linking Words
lack of money. For them, the state should provide financial assistance to help solve the difficulty.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, these needs may have been satisfied in some nations, especially in developed ones.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some people believe
government
Use synonyms
grants should be poured into artistic development.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the arts, including musical, visual and literary ones, can help tired workers and stressed students after work and study to relax and get recharged, because of the peaceful, silent and colourful features of artworks.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some arts,
such
Linking Words
as opera in China, which are unique to a country’s culture, can help to define a nation’s identity, give the members of the society a sense of belonging and strengthen national pride and cohesion. In conclusion, the
government
Use synonyms
should value both types of fields, as health care and education are fundamental human rights and arts can meet residents’ emotional demands.
However
Linking Words
, the domain which the
government
Use synonyms
should prioritize should depend on every country’s specific conditions.
Submitted by 1378468145 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To further enhance your essay, consider adding a bit more detailed examples to illustrate your points clearly. This will strengthen your argument and provide more evidence for your claims.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are connected with more explicit linking words or phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will enhance the readability and coherence of your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear position on the issue. Well done!
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-developed, providing a clear overview and summarizing the main points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: