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Band 7

An increasing number of people are changing careers during their working life. What do you think are the reasons of this? Is it a positive or a negative development for society?

#people #careers #life #development #society
These days, we can see a lot of employees that are altering their jobs over the period of
time
 on their working
time
.
this
 essay discusses the main reasons for
this
 happening and whether it has a good or bad result on populations.
This
 issue like other problems has a range of reasons
such
 as the lowest income and selection fault academic fields. On the one hand, most of the
time
 the population change their
work
 to new ones to raise their earning inasmuch as their prior jobs do not get them good money;
whereas
, they spend a great deal of
time
 on them.
On the other hand
, a group of people do not choose the subjects that they like at university or college;
consequently
, they cannot
work
 in the occupations that need their field backgrounds;
moreover
, they are not able to find employment opportunities that they like because they do not have knowledge about it, so they change their works to finish the
time
 that they must
work
. The fact
that is
 really important is that
this
 phenomenon is a negative development owing to the fact that when people change their
work
 a lot, they cannot obtain a majority of experience in a career.
In other words
, these kinds of communities' skills are the same as the ocean in that its depth is 1 cm;
therefore
, they are not able to become good at
work
 and help their society to improve
while
 they just waste the
time
 and facilities of their countries.
To sum up
, it is crucial that the employer increase their workers' income and people opt for the subject in which they are interested on account of the fact that
this
 happening has a negative effect on not only society but
also
 the country's improvement.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Work on providing specific examples. This will help in illustrating your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next by using linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The main reasons for changing careers are clearly discussed.
task achievement
You have addressed the positive or negative aspect of the development, providing a complete response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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