Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Some individuals believe that

music

is a great way to unite people from various ranges of cultures and generations. I strongly agree with

this

approach because

music

is a universal way of communication.

To begin

with, I reckon most of us can enjoy the rhythm and melody of

music

, regardless of their linguistic background, age or the nation that they belong to. We can feel the sense of a

song

even if we don’t understand its lyrics.

Due to

the fact that feelings like sadness or cheerfulness are international and they are perceivable in any language.

Therefore

, we can perceive the mood of a significant piece of

music

even though we aren’t speaking that language.

For example

last

year I attended a traditional

music

festival in Spain and I wasn’t familiar with Spanish so I couldn’t understand the meaning of their

song

Nevertheless

, that event was truly memorable for me because I was accompanied by the harmony of songs and enjoyed them

while

I didn’t get the meaning of them.

Moreover

music

is a timeless phenomenon so all individuals of different ages can be pleased by it. If a

song

is a masterpiece people can’t forget it easily.

For example

, in Iran, there are plenty of old and traditional songs which composed decades ago but people still love them and listen to them no matter how they are old.

On the other hand

, some individuals think

music

represents a significant part of a culture so it ought to be only a part of that particular country.

However

music

is created to be heard

therefore

we don’t have the right to deprive someone of it. In conclusion, I believe

although

music

makes us connected to our culture, we don’t have to limit ourselves to a certain type of

song

and we can be related to the varied number of regains by their

music

Submitted by mahtaesmailian on Thu Sep 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your arguments.

task achievement

You have provided relevant and specific examples that support your main points well.

Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

312 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

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