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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished.The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visits during the same two periods.

The table shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished.The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visits during the same two periods.
#numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #show #surveys #visits #two #periods
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The table illustrates the number of visitors to Ashdown
Museum
Use synonyms
 before and after it was reconstructed. The pie graphs show the answers of visitors to questions about their satisfaction with the
museum
Use synonyms
 during the two periods.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the charts that the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who visited the
museum
Use synonyms
 increased after refurbishment.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the main percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 was dissatisfied with
Use synonyms
museum
Add an article
the museum
a museum
show examples
, but after reconstruction
this
Linking Words
 number of answers decreased and the
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 who were very glad to visit it went up. In terms of numbers, the visitor's amount was lower at the beginning at approximately 75,000 per year and
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 rose to just above 90,000 per year. For
people
Use synonyms
 sanctification, it had a significant per cent at exactly 40%,
people
Use synonyms
 who did not have satisfaction, and the less crucial feature was
people
Use synonyms
, who had satisfied
answer
Use synonyms
 at 30%. The minimum percentage was
people
Use synonyms
 who had no
answer
Use synonyms
 to
question
Correct article usage
the question
show examples
 at 5%. After reconstruction,
people
Use synonyms
 who
dissatisfied
Add a missing verb
were dissatisfied
show examples
 fell to 15%,
while
Linking Words
 satisfied
people
Use synonyms
 soared to 40%, replacing
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
show examples
answer
Use synonyms
 proportion with good ones. The
people
Use synonyms
 who had a very satisfied mood was
also
Linking Words
 a large amount at nearly one-third and the little per cent get
people
Use synonyms
 who were very dissatisfied about the
museum
Use synonyms
 and who did not
answer
Use synonyms
 at 5% for both.
Submitted by Kawasaki on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, people, answer with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • refurbishment
  • visitor satisfaction
  • surveys
  • statistical measures
  • quantify
  • implications
  • facilities
  • evaluate
  • attraction
  • strategies
  • exhibits
  • publicity
  • renovation
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