Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

There are positive and negative

developments

in the case that many

children

are using their mobile

phones

for more than hours .

For example

, in

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

development,

children

are researching some interesting facts. Despite

this

, some

children

are already addicted to playing games or watching social media on their

phones

To begin

with, there are some negative

developments

in the case that

children

are using mobile

phones

. First of all, using

phones

makes

children

's eyes worse and makes eye more stressed.

Moreover

, it is unhealthy for

children

's bodies.

Furthermore

, when

children

are using

phones

they begin to become addicted to using

phones

and can not stop it in the future.

This

means that they can not stop using

phones

even during studying or during working time.

On the other hand

, there are positive

developments

too.

For instance

, they can get the skill to research the question that

children

want to know which is helpful for the future.

For example

, they can research anything they want and they can find more info and write some research papers.

Additionally

, it is helpful to know the news or info about what is happening in the world and be able to connect with social media.

To sum up

, there are some positive and negative

developments

in the case of using a phone ,

such

as using a phone is helpful to understand the world,

however

, it makes the eye bad. In my opinion, I think the use of

phones

for

children

is a negative development.

Submitted by dokmally2 on Sat Sep 21 2024

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task achievement

The essay has a logical structure and includes both positive and negative aspects of children's smartphone use. However, work on developing your points more thoroughly with specific and detailed examples to enhance your arguments. For example, you could describe a specific scenario where a child uses a smartphone beneficially or negatively.

coherence cohesion

While the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, there is a need for smoother transitions between the ideas presented in the body paragraphs. Use connecting phrases like 'In addition,' 'Moreover,' or 'On the one hand...on the other hand...' to improve the flow of your writing.

task achievement

Your essay covers both sides of the argument, showcasing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with paragraphs dedicated to specific points, which aids the reader in following your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

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Completing university is the best way to get a job. while others believe that experience and developing soft skills is more important. discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are bet or that they find the most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinio