Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #money #support

Fortune

is probably the one thing that mankind has been chasing for almost as long as it existed.

Fortune

comes in a multitude of ways, it can come by having a

lot

of houses, having different high-end cars or even having the ability to go places some

people

might not even dream of seeing. There is a question that has been on the minds of many, are only

people

with a

lot

money

considered successful? In

this

essay, I will answer

this

question and give my opinion on the subject. Why is

money

linked with success? Because

money

can get you places, A perfect example is,that I once knew a rich man named Almansour, he built his

fortune

through a catering business he started, he told me "Before building my

fortune

I could not go nor meet any of the

people

that I'm currently in business with" with that being said,

money

does indeed open hidden doors and get you places.

Also

money

can make you successful in almost anything, what do I mean by that?

Money

can make you successful in Family relationships and, bring families closer together. A good example is, my own family, my family and I work hard together to keep up with the

fortune

my father built for us,

this

brings us closer together and makes our bond stronger.

In addition

money

can make you and all around you happy, of course having the ability to buy gifts and host gatherings will make you and all the

people

around you happy. As with everything,

money

has its downsides one being, that you can't know for sure if the person in front of you is here for you or is here for your

money

. A good way to explain

this

is to tell you another thing Almansour told me, he said: "When I first came across the

fortune

I built, A

lot

of the

people

that didn't want anything to do with me suddenly started hanging out with me".

This

shows that having

money

can bring fake

people

into your life. In conclusion, in my opinion,

people

who earn a

lot

money

are indeed more successful than

people

who don't.

In addition

, having

money

has more upsides than downsides so I agree with the statement.

Submitted by almansouradel1 on Sun Sep 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider enhancing the logical links between your points to improve the flow of your argument. You may use more transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly.

task achievement

Please be cautious with minor grammar issues, especially with sentence fragments and commas. Ensuring grammatically complete sentences will increase clarity.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction is engaging and presents a clear thesis statement. Well done!

relevant specific examples

Your essay includes relevant and specific examples to back up your points, which adds strength to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

381 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

subjective
fulfillment
personal happiness
contributions to society
volunteering
activism
personal achievements
academic accomplishments
mastering a skill
indicators of success
independent of monetary wealth
financial stability
monetary wealth
emotional well-being
societal impact

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Technology is being used more and more in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

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You have recently faced a problem at the airport. An employee of the airport helped you with this matter. Write a letter to the airport manager and say - What was the problem - How did that person help you - Suggest the manager to praise this employee in some way.

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.