Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their life easier?
Working for long hours leads to stressful life than in previous times. Inflation and materialistic approach are two main reasons which could be solved easily.
The predominant reason to
work
for many hours is the increased expenses. To justify, since people tend to manage the expenses of their families, they have to earn more so that they can fulfil the requirements such
as education, food and medical expenditure. Consequently
, the more time they spend on
working, the more money they will earn. To counter Change preposition
apply
this
, employers can offer free services such
as annual medical checkups and free education to their employees
and their family members. This
will reduce some burden on their employees
.
Another compelling cause to work
more is to chase materialism. This
is because employees
are enticed towards the luxurious lifestyle and to enjoy that, they need more money. Therefore
, they work
for long hours to avail these facilities. In light of this
, heads of the departments can offer their workers to go on paid vacations because it will not only break the monotony of their busy routine life but also
relax their minds; thereby, reducing psychological problems such
as stress.
In conclusion, owing to tackling inflation and enjoying luxurious living, people are more inclined to work
for long times; however
, this
could be managed by delivering free services and paid holidays to their employees
and their families.Submitted by immysandhu94 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured, but try to further elaborate on certain points for better clarity. Adding a few more specific examples can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Make sure to fully develop each reason and solution. While the points you have made are valid, they could be expanded upon to give a more comprehensive response.
general
To improve your essay, try to use a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentences for better expression. This will show a higher level of proficiency in English.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments well.
task achievement
You have identified and explained two main reasons why people have to work longer hours and suggested practical solutions for both.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant and specific to the topic, making your essay focused and coherent.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite