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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

in spite of advancements made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

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Introduction
Although
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 farming methods have been developed today, starvation is one of the most fundamental issues that many people are still dealing with. There are several reasons for
this
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 problem which will be discussed in
this
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 essay and
then
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, some solutions will be suggested to tackle it.
Body paragraph 1
It is clearly true that agricultural techniques have experienced so many advancements, but some cutting-edge farming tools, supplies and methods are too expensive that some third-world
countries
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 cannot afford them.
Consequently
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, farmers in these
countries
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 resort to traditional approaches
of
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to
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 agriculture, which can lead to wrong usage of resources and damaging crops.
For example
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, manual cultivation done by individuals is significantly slower than mechanical way, leading to some crops
go
Verb problem
apply
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rot.
In addition
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, The high population of some
countries
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 makes it difficult to provide
food
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 for every single person in those
countries
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.
Lastly
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,
food
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 is usually wasted in some societies
such
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 as those in developing
countries
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.
Body paragraph 2
There are numerous solutions to address the global famish.
Firstly
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, the excess
food
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 should be collected in developed
countries
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.
This
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food
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 can be moved to
countries
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 with hunger problems like some African
countries
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 and distributed among them. Another action that can be done is that in developing
countries
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, the government can use initiatives to educate the public about global starvation .
Therefore
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, people don't waste
food
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 and may share it with famished individuals.
Finally
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, reacher
countries
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 should consider giving third-world
countries
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 loans to help them develop their farming tools.
Conclusion
In conclusion, so many advancements have been made in farming, but obviously
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,
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hunger still exists in some areas. It is both people's and authorities' duty to work together and
finally
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, eradicate starvation from our world.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and statistics to support the points made. Specificity can strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to maintain the logical flow of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the issue and what the essay will discuss. This sets a clear expectation for the reader.
complete response
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both the reasons behind the problem and the potential solutions.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • logistical
  • economic barriers
  • imbalance
  • exacerbates
  • food wastage
  • retailer levels
  • trade policies
  • agricultural subsidies
  • infrastructure
  • sustainable farming practices
  • international cooperation
  • fair-trade agreements
  • community-based
  • precision agriculture
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