In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. What problems can this situation cause and how can they be solved?

#parts #world #people #communities #situation

Recently, in several places, the members of the public have become more concerned about their own private life rather than their surrounding population.

This

change has some negative consequences,

such

as an antisocial trend and global problems.

This

essay will elaborate on these problems and provide necessary solutions for resolving them. Generally, all

people

by their nature are social creatures.

Therefore

, they need to be surrounded by others in order to be fully satisfied. Unfortunately,

due to

fast improvements in technologies, society is addicted to spending most of its time surfing the Internet, watching videos or listening to various podcasts,

as well as

spending time on different social networks like Instagram.

Moreover

, not only do humans hang out less with their friends but

also

pay less attention to face-to-face communication with their own families.

Moreover

, if members of the public had been fully concentrated on themselves,

then

our planet would have rather more serious environmental problems than it does now. When everyone is worried only about himself, he doesn’t think about how his actions can influence nature.

For example

, indifferent

people

can litter everywhere or kill animals, leading to global catastrophes. Regarding

this

problem, it is social public events that can be one of the solutions. Being involved in some mutual activities,

people

become more social and open to each other.

Furthermore

, social activities will allow

people

to understand that together they are able to do much more than individually.

Besides

, the government can add an extra subject to school programs that will be dedicated to the importance of socializing, respect for others and a general attitude toward society. These measures hopefully can change

people

’s mindsets in the right way. To sum it up,

although

some public tend to lead an isolative lifestyle, it is crucial to stay a part of society in order to prevent some undesirable consequences.

Submitted by Sidorovanaoks on Mon Sep 23 2024

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task achievement

Try to include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make the essay more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a smoother flow of ideas by using a variety of cohesive devices. This will improve the clarity and readability of your essay.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction effectively outlines the topic and states the problems and solutions clearly.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reinforces the importance of staying connected to the society.

task achievement

You have identified relevant problems caused by individualistic behavior and provided plausible solutions, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Social isolation
Mental health issues
Community participation
Social cohesion
Civic pride
Volunteerism
Charitable contributions
Collective responsibility
Cultural heritage
Educational campaigns
Collective action
Tax deductions
Recognition programs
Mentorship
Community leadership
Intergenerational interactions

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In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. What problems can this situation cause and how can they be solved?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

While social media platforms can have their benefits, using them too much can make you feel increasingly unhappy and decrease your self-esteem in the long run. Discuss with examples

With increasing popularity of online learning, some people believe that traditional classroom education will become obsolete. Do you agree? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both online and traditional learning methods.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

It is better for people to have a fixed work schedule than to have a flexible one. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.