Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today's world of technology and modernisation, the crime rate has started shooting up. The main reason for the high amount of crime rate is

people

Use synonyms

are vulnerable and can easily fall into the trap. In the essay, I will discuss whether is it worth punishing teenagers in the same way

with

Change preposition

show examples

adults. In my opinion, young

people

Use synonyms

can change their behaviour if someone will help them . On the one hand,if governments will treat

Change preposition

apply

show examples

everyone regardless of age,

then

Linking Words

more crimes will be committed than in the past.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, if they

will

Verb problem

apply

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find the reason why young

people

Use synonyms

commit crimes and try to solve them, after some time they will be an exemplary society.

For instance

Linking Words

, children who were born into

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poor family they ought to steal to find food to live on,

for

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason

Add a comma

reason,

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when executives develop

country's

Correct article usage

the country's

show examples

economy, the number of robberies will decrease.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, young

people

Use synonyms

have a lack of maturity and limited understanding to comprehend the repercussions of their actions. Notwithstanding that, their negative conduct can be altered by means

such

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as rehab centres and medication. The government should focus on re-educating and re-socializing offenders

instead

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of using punishments.

For instance

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, numerous European nations provide rehabilitation facilities for individuals under 18 who have committed crimes, with a success rate of 93%. In conclusion, juvenile offenders should not treated under the same conditions

with

Change preposition

show examples

adults,

due to

Linking Words

their unstable psyche and some family issues.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Mon Sep 23 2024

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task response

The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear stance. However, ensure to avoid general statements and focus on developing more specific arguments for each point.

coherence cohesion

Although the essay has a logical structure and is coherent, paying more attention to transitions between paragraphs can improve the flow. Use linking phrases to clarify the connections between your ideas.

introduction conclusion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effectively outline the main arguments.

supported main points

The essay provides relevant and specific examples, such as the example of European nations' rehabilitation success rate, which strengthens the argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

243 words

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Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Many believe that it is important to protect all wild animals, while others think that it is important to protect some, not all of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is a commonly held belief that the death penalty is a good deterrent to prevent heinous crimes. However, others believe that life long sentence is a better deterrent. Discuss both views

Government investment in the arts,such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public service instead. Do you agree or disagree.

Many small businesses are being forced to close because they cannot compete with multinational corporations. What problems does this cause, and how can those problems be solved?

Write a letter to a friend who will come to your country to work for 6 months. In your letter, you should: •recommend a city •suggest a few jobs that your friend could do •give some opinions about making friends with the locals.