These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, more and more
men
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prefer taking on the role of househusbands,
while
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women
Use synonyms
take care of financial aspects. There could be several reasons for
this
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, and I believe it is a positive development. There are two main factors that contribute to
this
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trend.
Firstly
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, the growth of technology has created more occupations that are more suitable for
women
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,
such
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as marketing, sales, and human resources.
Therefore
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, more and more female employees earn more money than males,
thus
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making them the breadwinners in their families. The second element is that our society has become more equal in terms of gender. These days,
women
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are legally allowed to pursue formal qualifications and desired careers. In the past,
this
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privilege used to be only for
men
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, and their partners had to stay at home and take care of families. In my opinion, these changes should be seen as an essential move in the course of human history. Living in a society that promotes gender equality is beneficial not only for
women
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to no longer be under pressure to sacrifice their careers for the traditional role, but
also
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for
men
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they are free to leave their jobs in order to spend time with their families as their wills.
Additionally
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, promoting equality between
men
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and
women
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may lead to greater empathy. By switching roles, parents will have chances to encounter difficulties that their partners face every day.
Therefore
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, they will be more empathetic towards their partners. In conclusion, I believe that the development of technology and society are the factors that contribute to the changing roles between
men
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and
women
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.
Consequently
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,
this
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trend has led to some desirable results.

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task achievement
You have responded well to the task, providing a comprehensive answer to the question. However, including more specific examples could strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured and coherent. Linking words and phrases are generally used effectively, but make sure to maintain clarity with more complex ideas or longer sentences.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have presented clear and comprehensive ideas that are relevant to the task question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • breadwinner
  • caregiving
  • paternal leave
  • societal perceptions
  • gender roles
  • flexible working conditions
  • personal preference
  • father-child relationship
  • emotional and social development
  • household responsibilities
  • career opportunities
  • professional achievements
  • balanced parenting
  • earning potential
  • social stigma
  • societal pressure
  • discrimination
  • traditional mindsets
  • resentment
  • adjustment
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