These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

#fathers #home #care #children #mothers #work #development

Nowadays, more and more

men

prefer taking on the role of househusbands,

while

women

take care of financial aspects. There could be several reasons for

this

, and I believe it is a positive development. There are two main factors that contribute to

this

trend.

Firstly

, the growth of technology has created more occupations that are more suitable for

women

such

as marketing, sales, and human resources.

Therefore

, more and more female employees earn more money than males,

thus

making them the breadwinners in their families. The second element is that our society has become more equal in terms of gender. These days,

women

are legally allowed to pursue formal qualifications and desired careers. In the past,

this

privilege used to be only for

men

, and their partners had to stay at home and take care of families. In my opinion, these changes should be seen as an essential move in the course of human history. Living in a society that promotes gender equality is beneficial not only for

women

to no longer be under pressure to sacrifice their careers for the traditional role, but

also

for

men

they are free to leave their jobs in order to spend time with their families as their wills.

Additionally

, promoting equality between

men

and

women

may lead to greater empathy. By switching roles, parents will have chances to encounter difficulties that their partners face every day.

Therefore

, they will be more empathetic towards their partners. In conclusion, I believe that the development of technology and society are the factors that contribute to the changing roles between

men

and

women

Consequently

this

trend has led to some desirable results.

Submitted by ieltsamiedu on Tue Sep 24 2024

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task achievement

You have responded well to the task, providing a comprehensive answer to the question. However, including more specific examples could strengthen your points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is logically structured and coherent. Linking words and phrases are generally used effectively, but make sure to maintain clarity with more complex ideas or longer sentences.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.

task achievement

You have presented clear and comprehensive ideas that are relevant to the task question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

breadwinner
caregiving
paternal leave
societal perceptions
gender roles
flexible working conditions
personal preference
father-child relationship
emotional and social development
household responsibilities
career opportunities
professional achievements
balanced parenting
earning potential
social stigma
societal pressure
discrimination
traditional mindsets
resentment
adjustment

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These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

You recently purchased a product that turned out to be faulty. Write a letter to the store manager, complaining about the issue and requesting a replacement or refund.

Some people think that the development of technology has made our life more complex, and the solution is to live a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

"Air pollution in major cities is a significant issue. What are some potential causes of this problem, and what strategies can be implemented to tackle it?"

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+