Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main cause and effect of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.
Many countries are facing an urgent issue related to overweight
children
. In general, having a sedentary lifestyle leads to this
problem, which could have a negative impact on family finances. However
, parents might be a critical factor in dealing with this
obstacle through their involvement.
Presently, due to
the proliferation of technology, children
tend to spend much time surfing the internet and playing video games instead
of taking part in outdoor activities, forming an inactive lifestyle. With this
way of life, children
can suffer from a wide range of health issues, such
as obesity, stroke, or heart attack. Consequently
, those illnesses could impose significant financial strains on families, as parents need to seek effective treatments for their offspring. For example
, the process of curing obese children
in Vietnam can cost approximately 30 million VND per month, and it is obvious that this
treatment budget is often beyond the means of an average family.
Nonetheless
, this
pressing matter can be addressed through parental intervention. One possible solution worth mentioning is that adults should regulate the children
's frequency of use of technological devices and encourage them to partake in outdoor activities. If this
method is implemented, children
will have more chances to physically exercise with their families, such
as hiking or picnicking. Another approach they should take is to prioritize the nutritional quality of their family's meals. Put simply, they ought to limit the consumption of processed and fast foods that contribute to health issues. Instead
, they can enhance their cooking skills to prepare delicious and nutritious home-cooked meals, thereby promoting healthier eating habits among their children
.
In conclusion, although
increasing childhood obesity in some countries is a consequence of modern life, severely affecting both health and family finances, the involvement of parents can effectively mitigate this
issue by limiting screen time and participating in healthy cooking practices for their families.Submitted by Mads on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. The current structure is quite good, but it can be improved by ensuring tighter linkage between sentences within paragraphs.
task achievement
Expand more on possible solutions. The solutions provided are good but can be elaborated further to add depth to the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the question. Both causes and effects are effectively discussed, and solutions are suggested.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The flow of ideas is logical and coherent.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples, such as the case of Vietnam, are provided to support the main points, making the arguments more compelling.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...