Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main cause and effect of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.

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Many countries are facing an urgent issue related to overweight

children

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. In general, having a sedentary lifestyle leads to

this

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problem, which could have a negative impact on family finances.

However

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, parents might be a critical factor in dealing with

this

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obstacle through their involvement. Presently,

due to

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the proliferation of technology,

children

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tend to spend much time surfing the internet and playing video games

instead

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of taking part in outdoor activities, forming an inactive lifestyle. With

this

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way of life,

children

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can suffer from a wide range of health issues,

such

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as obesity, stroke, or heart attack.

Consequently

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, those illnesses could impose significant financial strains on families, as parents need to seek effective treatments for their offspring.

For example

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, the process of curing obese

children

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in Vietnam can cost approximately 30 million VND per month, and it is obvious that

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treatment budget is often beyond the means of an average family.

Nonetheless

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this

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pressing matter can be addressed through parental intervention. One possible solution worth mentioning is that adults should regulate the

children

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's frequency of use of technological devices and encourage them to partake in outdoor activities. If

this

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method is implemented,

children

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will have more chances to physically exercise with their families,

such

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as hiking or picnicking. Another approach they should take is to prioritize the nutritional quality of their family's meals. Put simply, they ought to limit the consumption of processed and fast foods that contribute to health issues.

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, they can enhance their cooking skills to prepare delicious and nutritious home-cooked meals, thereby promoting healthier eating habits among their

children

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. In conclusion,

although

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increasing childhood obesity in some countries is a consequence of modern life, severely affecting both health and family finances, the involvement of parents can effectively mitigate

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issue by limiting screen time and participating in healthy cooking practices for their families.

MadsThu Sep 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. The current structure is quite good, but it can be improved by ensuring tighter linkage between sentences within paragraphs.

task achievement

Expand more on possible solutions. The solutions provided are good but can be elaborated further to add depth to the essay.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the question. Both causes and effects are effectively discussed, and solutions are suggested.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The flow of ideas is logical and coherent.

task achievement

Relevant and specific examples, such as the case of Vietnam, are provided to support the main points, making the arguments more compelling.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

7.5

Logical structure

7.5

Introduction & conclusion present

7.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

7.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

unhealthy diet
high-calorie
low-nutrient foods
fast food
sugary drinks
sedentary activities
genetic factors
family habits
immediate and long-term effects
diabetes
high blood pressure
high cholesterol
low self-esteem
depression
social isolation
quality of life
healthier eating habits
nutritious foods
stricter regulations
marketing of unhealthy foods
physical activity
school programs
community sports
family activities
safe environments
parental involvement
balanced diet

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Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main cause and effect of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing . Others believe that we should try to cooperate more , rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.

In some countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantage?