IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

3. Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that the
dress
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 code of
employees
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 is not necessary, it is simply because it does not affect the quality of their production. In my point of view, I agree with
this
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 opinion,
however
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, it does not
also
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 show off the professionalism and respect of staff as formal clothes. On the one hand,
employees
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 do not need to care about clothes when they go to
work
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.
Firstly
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, it will make them more happy and motivated when they wear their favourite attire.
Furthermore
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, they can wear normal dresses, which will make them more comfortable.
For example
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,
employees
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work
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 in a private environment and spend most of their time on a computer or laptop, comfortable clothes are easier to
work
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 in and make them more relaxed. From that, some companies may not be affected by how their
employees
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dress
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.
On the other hand
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, uniforms play a key role in service industries
such
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 as healthcare services or restaurants. Formal wear or uniform shows professionalism and respect for customers and clients will
also
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 realize waiters or waitresses faster,
thus
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 saving time and effort .
Hence
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, a certain type of job like receptionist requires people to
dress
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 properly so it cannot worsen the company’s productivity .
Besides
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, it is fair for staff in the company and it is not indiscriminate poor or rich, so make staff more confident when they
work
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. In conclusion,
although
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 one’s clothing preference or
dress
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 code at
work
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 does not directly influence productivity, its relevance is worth considering depending on the nature of production.

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task achievement
While you have provided a clear opinion on the topic and made relevant points, make sure to provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and support it fully. For example, you could expand on how comfortable clothes might improve productivity in more scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to maintain reader interest and improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure to the argument.
task achievement
Your response addresses all parts of the task effectively, discussing both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
You've maintained a logical flow of ideas, making it easy to follow your opinion throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dress code
  • professional attire
  • workplace culture
  • productivity
  • branding
  • perception
  • creativity
  • equality
  • bias
  • discrimination
  • first impressions
  • freedom of expression
  • quality of work
  • skill set
  • professionalism
  • comfort
  • clientele
  • stakeholders
  • competence
  • formal attire
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