You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people believe that governments should pay for healthcare and education, but others disagree with this opinion. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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The forthcoming American
president
Replace the word
presidential
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election has put the issue to the front again of whether
governments
should be responsible for
healthcare
and
education
expenses
. From my perspective,
this
is the inherent duty of
governments
,
while
the extent to which
governments
can share the responsibility with their
citizens
needs to be thoroughly examined. Before expounding on the reasons for involving
people
in paying for
healthcare
and
education
, I would like to explain why these are primarily
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
duties.
According to
Hobbes, the writer of Leviathan, the only reason that
governments
can utilise to justify their existence is that they ensure the welfare of
people
who agree to renounce part of their freedom and submit to
governments
' regulation. In the 21st century, welfare definitely includes
education
and
healthcare
, and
hence
citizens
have every reason to ask their
governments
to pay for relevant
expenses
. More compelling than a political theory is the practice of many European countries, for illustration, France, where the
government
covers over 60% of
healthcare
costs and almost all
education
expenses
.
Therefore
, I insist that
governments
must pay for
healthcare
and
education
expenses
.
Nevertheless
, to
governments
,
this
duty must be limited for
otherwise
, they are likely to collapse.
Governments
have many functions, like defending territory
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and protecting their
citizens
' safety, which all take resources.
For
this
reason, if they invest excessively in
education
or
healthcare
, other basic needs can not be met, which can result in serious consequences. Sri Lanka is a compelling example. Its
government
poured the amount of funds that
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
could not afford into the welfare system, leading to the bankruptcy of the national bank in 2022, which
further
provoked large-scale riots.
Therefore
, it is reasonable that
governments
invite
people
to share the cost of
education
and
healthcare
. To summarise, it is
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
inherent duty to provide
healthcare
and
education
to their
citizens
at a relatively low cost.
Nonetheless
, in order to ensure
governments
can operate well, it is
also
reasonable for
governments
to shift parts of
education
costs to
people
.
Submitted by hx88375757 on

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task achievement
You've done a commendable job maintaining a balanced discussion about a complex topic. However, your introduction mentions the American presidential election, which is not directly related to the argument about governmental responsibility for healthcare and education. Try to remain focused on the central topic from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is effective, but it could be strengthened by summarizing the main arguments more clearly and providing a final, impactful statement. This can help reiterate your stance and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, and each paragraph flows logically to the next. The use of real-world examples, such as the mention of France and Sri Lanka, is effective in supporting your arguments.
task achievement
Your arguments are clear and comprehensive. The explanations for both sides of the argument are relevant and well-detailed.
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