IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress at work. They should only care about the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A group of people believe that the important factor for managers to accept their employees is their work , not their appearance. I subscribe to
this
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 perspective owing to the fact that the efficiency of
workers
Use synonyms
 impacts the economy and development , not their clothes. On the one hand, what is crucial is that when employees accept their skills from their employers, the assembly do not spend too much money on getting a range of
workers
Use synonyms
 who have done the work that one of them can do. In fact, if the efficiency of the
workers
Use synonyms
 when is high,
then
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 the number of them reduces in the companies.
In addition
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, the managers need to spend the money on them but maybe their clothes are not very good.
On the other hand
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, the main factor that develops corporations and gets their goods or services better is their employees inasmuch as if they are talented, they present a range of new ideas that change the situation and make the companies better.
In other words
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, the method of wearing cannot develop;
however
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, the clever
workers
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 are able to offer ideas.
For example
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, the biggest companies around the world do not get a person who wears special garments, yet they get people who have different perspectives.
To sum up
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, productivity is more essential than clothes because businesses can do their work with a few efficient
workers
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, these populations can offer a good accomplishment that alters the situation to the best one or
suggest
Correct subject-verb agreement
suggests
show examples
 methods that have a lot of benefits.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your main points. This can include statistics, case studies, or real-life examples of companies that prioritize work quality over appearance.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Transition phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify the points you want to make in your introduction and conclusion. Make sure the conclusion restates your main argument clearly.
task achievement
You articulate a clear opinion on the topic, showing your perspective on the importance of work quality over appearance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dress code
  • Professional appearance
  • Corporate culture
  • Freedom of expression
  • Productivity
  • Discrimination
  • Inclusivity
  • Diversity
  • Industry standards
  • Safety regulations
  • Employee morale
  • Job satisfaction
  • Attire
  • Corporate identity
  • Gender identity
  • Cultural sensitivity
  • Workplace norms
  • Employee well-being
  • Business etiquette
  • Professional conduct
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