It is better for university students to live away from home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #students #home #studies #parents

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Is it right to say that adults can get better knowledge by studying in global educational institutes rather than staying in their town colleges? I firmly believe

this

practice can enhance youngsters' expertise and boost their confidence to the next level. The following paragraphs will elucidate my point of view with supporting examples.

To begin

with, studying out of town is not known as a golden chance to learn new things in a new environment for no reason. Primarily, learning in a different state can not only teach us myriads of cultural values but

also

push tutees to adjust themself to the new education system.

As a result

, undergraduates become experts on distinct community languages

as well as

get familiar with other state's study ecosystems.

For instance

, an article in the "Toronto Star" written by Editor-In-Chief Mr. Walker on the topic of "Study Abroad" in 2022, stated that Attendees who study in the local college have 60% less cultural awareness as compared to global institutes attendees.

Hence

, studying far from home is a better option to broaden the horizons in terms of historical and pedagogical understanding.

Furthermore

, tertiary students will become mature enough by living in hostels and paying guest houses

while

studying on their campus. By sitting at home they will not get a chance to make connections with multifarious educational background people. In fact, they will remain underconfident and shy if they do not leave their houses.

Moreover

, spending some proportion of life in the college shelter builds a strong personality of scholars in terms of societal wisdom and profession. To exemplify, a survey recently done by BBC in Winnipeg, revealed that during public speaking programs, hostlers are much more confident

whereas

day scholars are dominated by their shyness.

Therefore

, it can be said that attending colleges in different provinces is profitable for gaining self-confidence.

To conclude

, undoubtedly staying with guardians is best for emotional health but for the sake of obtaining vast knowledge, solid confidence, and understanding diverse traditions is a constructive development of human beings.

Submitted by knavdeep3011 on Fri Sep 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

While your essay presents clear and logical arguments, consider refining the flow between paragraphs to increase smooth transitions and overall cohesion.

task achievement

Ensure to stay entirely on-topic, focusing more on your argument about university students living away from home rather than veering off into different but related educational topics.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction effectively states your position and sets the stage for your main arguments.

supported main points

You have provided specific, relevant examples that support your points, enhancing the credibility of your arguments.

complete response

Your essay offers a complete response to the prompt, covering multiple aspects of the discussion with clear and comprehensive ideas.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

339 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

independence
self-reliance
on campus
student accommodation
engage in social activities
budgeting
time management
financial burdens
emotional and mental support
stressful times
proximity
social interactions
diverse peer groups

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