In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
In
this
modern era, some countries are suffering from a higher Linking Words
population
. In comparison with past periods nowadays, Use synonyms
people
are living longer. Some Use synonyms
people
believe that the older Use synonyms
population
creates causes for governments. Use synonyms
While
others argue there are advantages when society has more elders. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will explain the various disadvantages and how they outweigh the advantages with relevant examples.
On the one hand, the Linking Words
country
will face an economic decrease. To illustrate in some countries, the government spends their money on elders' hospital expenses and living expenses. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
According to
Time magazine The United States of America spend around 20% of their annual income on food, and medicines for elderly Linking Words
people
. Use synonyms
Additionally
, there is a significant impact that will affect the tax and innovation sectors Linking Words
due to
a lack of IT and technical knowledge. Linking Words
Therefore
, having an older Linking Words
population
leads to issues for the government.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, they still protect the Linking Words
country
's Use synonyms
culture
. In brief, in Use synonyms
this
modern world, most youngsters do not follow the Linking Words
country
's Use synonyms
culture
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, many of them even do not know about it. Linking Words
Hence
, having old generation Linking Words
people
is a benefit to protect the Use synonyms
culture
. Use synonyms
For instance
, youngsters can gain knowledge about traditional festivals and foods through them.
In conclusion, Linking Words
while
it is true that there are advantages to having elder Linking Words
people
in society Use synonyms
such
as maintaining the Linking Words
country
's Use synonyms
culture
, the disadvantages Use synonyms
such
as the economic decrease, and reduction in taxes and innovations far outweigh the benefits. Linking Words
Therefore
, I believe having a more elderly Linking Words
population
will impact the Use synonyms
country
in a negative way.Use synonyms
Submitted by shruthiudhai7 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
While your introduction sets the context well, it could be more engaging by stating a clear thesis (your position on the issue). Ensure that each paragraph clearly aligns with the essay question and your thesis.
task response
Try to develop your supporting points further. While the examples are relevant, they could be more specific and comprehensive to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each main point is clear and logically developed. While the essay flows fairly well, transitions between points could be smoother. For instance, using transitional phrases can help readers understand the progression of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Consider expanding the section on the cultural benefits of an aging population. It currently lacks depth and could be better supported with additional examples or arguments.
task response
You have a strong conclusion that reiterates your main argument effectively. This reinforces your stance and gives a sense of closure to your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with separate paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. This makes it easier for readers to follow your argument.
task response
You used some relevant examples to back up your points, enhancing the quality of your arguments. Continue using specific data and examples to strengthen your essays.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...