In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
In
this
modern era, some countries are suffering from a higher population
. In comparison with past periods nowadays, people
are living longer. Some people
believe that the older population
creates causes for governments. While
others argue there are advantages when society has more elders. In this
essay, I will explain the various disadvantages and how they outweigh the advantages with relevant examples.
On the one hand, the country
will face an economic decrease. To illustrate in some countries, the government spends their money on elders' hospital expenses and living expenses. For instance
, According to
Time magazine The United States of America spend around 20% of their annual income on food, and medicines for elderly people
. Additionally
, there is a significant impact that will affect the tax and innovation sectors due to
a lack of IT and technical knowledge. Therefore
, having an older population
leads to issues for the government.
On the other hand
, they still protect the country
's culture
. In brief, in this
modern world, most youngsters do not follow the country
's culture
. Moreover
, many of them even do not know about it. Hence
, having old generation people
is a benefit to protect the culture
. For instance
, youngsters can gain knowledge about traditional festivals and foods through them.
In conclusion, while
it is true that there are advantages to having elder people
in society such
as maintaining the country
's culture
, the disadvantages such
as the economic decrease, and reduction in taxes and innovations far outweigh the benefits. Therefore
, I believe having a more elderly population
will impact the country
in a negative way.Submitted by shruthiudhai7 on
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task response
While your introduction sets the context well, it could be more engaging by stating a clear thesis (your position on the issue). Ensure that each paragraph clearly aligns with the essay question and your thesis.
task response
Try to develop your supporting points further. While the examples are relevant, they could be more specific and comprehensive to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each main point is clear and logically developed. While the essay flows fairly well, transitions between points could be smoother. For instance, using transitional phrases can help readers understand the progression of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Consider expanding the section on the cultural benefits of an aging population. It currently lacks depth and could be better supported with additional examples or arguments.
task response
You have a strong conclusion that reiterates your main argument effectively. This reinforces your stance and gives a sense of closure to your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with separate paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. This makes it easier for readers to follow your argument.
task response
You used some relevant examples to back up your points, enhancing the quality of your arguments. Continue using specific data and examples to strengthen your essays.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...