IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

#million #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth
It is argued that
million
Correct your spelling
millions
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 of dollars should spent on
improve
Change the form of the verb
improving
show examples
 living standards
instead
 of spent it on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
 research.
This
 essay
is totally disagrees
Change the verb form
totally disagrees
show examples
 with that statement because
this
 research would help
on enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhance
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 the environment and
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
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 a
space
 subject
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the schools. On the one hand, the implementation of these funds on discovering the
space
 would help us to prevent enormous problems
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the environment. Because it could increase awareness about greenhouse and know
physiologic
Correct article usage
the physiologic
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 effects on the Earth
besides
ozone
Correct article usage
the ozone
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 layer and how it absorbs the
ultraviolent
Correct your spelling
ultraviolet
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 comes from
sun
Add an article
the sun
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.
For instance
, it has been shown that since
Correct article usage
the establishing
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establishing
Replace the word
establishment
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 of
NASA
Correct article usage
the NASA
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 agency it
assists
Wrong verb form
has assisted
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 in
enhance
Change the verb form
enhancing
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 quality of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
On the other hand
, inserting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 science in schools and increase their knowledge about it. It is crucial to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that subject because it helps us to
understanding
Change the verb form
understand
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 different aspects of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
such
 as insert of physics and chemics you will not get the benefit until you study it. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
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, recently most
of
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apply
show examples
college
Fix the agreement mistake
colleges
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 tend to insert
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 subject as
main
Add an article
the main
show examples
 material. Which in a direct way led to the broad of the horizon of science among people. In conclusion, I completely
disagrees
Change the verb form
disagree
show examples
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the idea of
band
Add an article
the band
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 the expenditure on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
.
While
 it is important in our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to understand it and avoid many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
plants
Fix the agreement mistake
plant
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 and
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
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 issues.
In addition
 to
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
 our knowledge about the
space
 aspect. I recommended that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should take steps
on encouraging
Change preposition
to encourage
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 nations to support the research on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
.
Submitted by rraghad.b on

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grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar. For instance, 'million of dollars should spent' should be 'millions of dollars should be spent.'
content
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. The example about NASA is very broad and could be more specific.
structure
Improve the introduction and conclusion to make your position clearer. The introduction should clearly state your stance, and the conclusion should summarize your main points effectively.
vocabulary
Focus on using more appropriate academic vocabulary. For example, 'increase their knowledge about it' could be 'expand their knowledge in this field.'
content
The essay presents a clear argument with two main points: environmental benefits and educational advantages.
structure
The structure of the essay, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion is evident and logical.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • technological advancements
  • scientific discoveries
  • astronomy
  • satellites
  • international collaboration
  • economic benefits
  • living standards
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • healthcare
  • poverty reduction
  • distribute funds
  • resource allocation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: