Some people believe that studying at the university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people claim that a
university
Use synonyms
degree is the superior pathway to a successful
career
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
others argue that working after
school
Use synonyms
is the best alternative. I strongly believe that
university
Use synonyms
graduates are more likely to succeed in their careers.
University
Use synonyms
education plays a vital role in building a successful
career
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, the job market is very competitive, and companies want applicants with specific knowledge and skills.
This
Linking Words
need can only be met by taking specialised courses, which are only available at universities. Doctors and engineers,
for example
Linking Words
, are two of the most prominent careers that can only be pursued after graduating from
university
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
the requirement for in-depth knowledge and extended internship training in order to be successful in these professions.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many people find it appealing
to begin
Linking Words
working immediately after
school
Use synonyms
. A large number of young individuals are eager to start making money as soon as possible in order to accelerate their
career
Use synonyms
growth.
However
Linking Words
, the majority of jobs available after high
school
Use synonyms
do not require specialised skills or work experience and offer a low wage.
For example
Linking Words
, food delivery jobs are readily accessible for everyone after
school
Use synonyms
, but they do not lead to a promising
career
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, it is better for individuals to continue their education after high
school
Use synonyms
. Students who get a
university
Use synonyms
degree in a specialised field often find themselves in a better position to secure well-paying jobs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they may choose to work a part-time job after high
school
Use synonyms
to obtain real-life work experience
while
Linking Words
still earning money for their future education. In conclusion, universities provide courses with specialisation, which makes students more competitive in the job market and contributes to a successful
career
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
employment following high
school
Use synonyms
is low-paying and offers less opportunity for growth.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay largely addresses the task requirement effectively, ensure that you include a few more specific examples to support your points better. This will make your argument even stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a broader range of vocabulary to enhance clarity and comprehension. This will make your writing more engaging and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow your arguments from the introduction to the conclusion.
task achievement
You've provided strong points to support your stance, particularly with examples like doctors and engineers that illustrate your argument well.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing your opinion and leaving a lasting impression on the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
What to do next:
Look at other essays: