Some people believe that studying at the university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school

Some people claim that a

university

degree is the superior pathway to a successful

career

while

others argue that working after

school

is the best alternative. I strongly believe that

university

graduates are more likely to succeed in their careers.

University

education plays a vital role in building a successful

career

. Nowadays, the job market is very competitive, and companies want applicants with specific knowledge and skills.

This

need can only be met by taking specialised courses, which are only available at universities. Doctors and engineers,

for example

, are two of the most prominent careers that can only be pursued after graduating from

university

due to

the requirement for in-depth knowledge and extended internship training in order to be successful in these professions.

On the other hand

, many people find it appealing

to begin

working immediately after

school

. A large number of young individuals are eager to start making money as soon as possible in order to accelerate their

career

growth.

However

, the majority of jobs available after high

school

do not require specialised skills or work experience and offer a low wage.

For example

, food delivery jobs are readily accessible for everyone after

school

, but they do not lead to a promising

career

. In my opinion, it is better for individuals to continue their education after high

school

. Students who get a

university

degree in a specialised field often find themselves in a better position to secure well-paying jobs.

Moreover

, they may choose to work a part-time job after high

school

to obtain real-life work experience

while

still earning money for their future education. In conclusion, universities provide courses with specialisation, which makes students more competitive in the job market and contributes to a successful

career

while

employment following high

school

is low-paying and offers less opportunity for growth.

Submitted by bcynfn159 on Fri Sep 27 2024

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task achievement

While your essay largely addresses the task requirement effectively, ensure that you include a few more specific examples to support your points better. This will make your argument even stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures and using a broader range of vocabulary to enhance clarity and comprehension. This will make your writing more engaging and easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow your arguments from the introduction to the conclusion.

task achievement

You've provided strong points to support your stance, particularly with examples like doctors and engineers that illustrate your argument well.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing your opinion and leaving a lasting impression on the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic qualifications
Specialized skills
In-depth knowledge
Personal growth
Social development
Practical experience
Financial independence
Career progression
Professional networking
Education
Work experience
Successful career
Personal interests
Career goals
Decision-making process

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Over time, as children grow older, the relationship they have with their parents changes. In your opinion, what role should parents have in their adult children’s lives?

In the past people used to wear their traditional clothes depending on their culture. Nowadays the trend is changing and people wear different clothes. Is it a positive or negative development? How does it affect certain societies and people’s behaviour?

A lot of places in the word rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern word. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

Organizing tours to promote places and communities is becoming more and more popularity. Is it positive or negative development for the local people and environment？