Some people believe that studying at the university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some people claim that a

university

Use synonyms

degree is the superior pathway to a successful

career

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others argue that working after

school

Use synonyms

is the best alternative. I strongly believe that

university

Use synonyms

graduates are more likely to succeed in their careers.

University

Use synonyms

education plays a vital role in building a successful

career

Use synonyms

. Nowadays, the job market is very competitive, and companies want applicants with specific knowledge and skills.

This

Linking Words

need can only be met by taking specialised courses, which are only available at universities. Doctors and engineers,

for example

Linking Words

, are two of the most prominent careers that can only be pursued after graduating from

university

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

the requirement for in-depth knowledge and extended internship training in order to be successful in these professions.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, many people find it appealing

to begin

Linking Words

working immediately after

school

Use synonyms

. A large number of young individuals are eager to start making money as soon as possible in order to accelerate their

career

Use synonyms

growth.

However

Linking Words

, the majority of jobs available after high

school

Use synonyms

do not require specialised skills or work experience and offer a low wage.

For example

Linking Words

, food delivery jobs are readily accessible for everyone after

school

Use synonyms

, but they do not lead to a promising

career

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, it is better for individuals to continue their education after high

school

Use synonyms

. Students who get a

university

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degree in a specialised field often find themselves in a better position to secure well-paying jobs.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they may choose to work a part-time job after high

school

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to obtain real-life work experience

while

Linking Words

still earning money for their future education. In conclusion, universities provide courses with specialisation, which makes students more competitive in the job market and contributes to a successful

career

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while

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employment following high

school

Use synonyms

is low-paying and offers less opportunity for growth.

bcynfn159Fri Sep 27 2024

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task achievement

While your essay largely addresses the task requirement effectively, ensure that you include a few more specific examples to support your points better. This will make your argument even stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures and using a broader range of vocabulary to enhance clarity and comprehension. This will make your writing more engaging and easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow your arguments from the introduction to the conclusion.

task achievement

You've provided strong points to support your stance, particularly with examples like doctors and engineers that illustrate your argument well.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing your opinion and leaving a lasting impression on the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

300 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic qualifications
Specialized skills
In-depth knowledge
Personal growth
Social development
Practical experience
Financial independence
Career progression
Professional networking
Education
Work experience
Successful career
Personal interests
Career goals
Decision-making process

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Global warming is one of the biggest threats human face in 21 st century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions.

Travelling abroad is regarded as a valuable and good activity for young people, but some think it takes too much time and money. Discuss both view and give opinion.

City centres are very crowded with cars. They often cause a great deal of pollution. Cars should be banned from all centres. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Nowadays many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. what could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

Studies have shown that unemployment has a bad effect on both the physical and mental health of people without a job. For this reason, governments need to create jobs for everyone who wants one. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?