Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Mass
tourism
is widely present in the contemporary world. However
, despite many individuals taking advantage of what it offers, it is often believed that it has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. I partly agree with this
thesis and claim that it has both pros and cons.
Tourism
has significant benefits for visiting states. First and foremost, it improves their economy. In poorer regions of the world, a huge part of the society lives from tourism
, which means that they provide accommodation, food, and entertainment for tourists
, thus
, travellers have a positive impact on the visiting country. Furthermore
, there are many different types of tourists
- to illustrate, for instance
, backpackers are the people who try to get involved and help the society they visit. Not only do they sightseeing, but also
often teach English in local schools, take part in work camps, and, most importantly, respect the community that hosts them.
On the other hand
, relevant drawbacks of mass tourism
are presented too. The most significant of them is interrupting the everyday life of residents. In places such
as Venice, Italy or Paris, France, a massive influx of travellers can handicap the lives of local people, who suffer from crowded streets and high prices. In addition
, most tourists
do not really care about the natural environment of visiting places. Consequently
, travellers can often contribute to the pollution of beaches, forests, and water recipients.
In conclusion, I partly agree with the statement that mass tourism
has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. Tourists
can contribute to the pollution of the environment and the handicapped lives of local people. In contrast
, however
, they also
can boost the economy of visiting states as well as
positively influence the hosting society in the form of workcamps, and English lessons.Submitted by kuba.glogowski on
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task achievement
The essay responds well to the task and addresses both sides of the argument. However, it could benefit from including more specific examples and expanding on certain points to reinforce the argument, particularly in the second body paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the coherence by ensuring that each idea is fully developed and connected smoothly to the next point. The essay already has a logical structure; however, expanding on certain points and providing more concrete examples or statistics to support the claims will improve coherence further.
language accuracy
There are a few minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings (e.g., 'the society they visit,' 'water recipients'). Consider carefully reviewing your sentences to improve clarity and flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-organized structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This aids in the overall coherence and cohesion of the piece.
task achievement
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly outlining the topic and summarizing your viewpoint effectively. This helps frame the essay and gives it a clear direction.
task achievement
Good use of contrast in the essay by presenting both positive and negative aspects of tourism. This balanced approach shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
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