Some people believe school children should be given multiple short vacations, while others believe they should get one long vacation. Give the advantages of both and express your own point of view.
These days, people's lifestyles are so varied from the past owing to the fact that societies have access to a range of elements
such
as all young generations should go to school; moreover
, a group of people believe that children ought to have some holiday
with short time
while
the others think a long vacation
is the best choice. This
essay discusses my views and the merits that both ideas .
In my opinion, the best factor that helps students
to have good yield is vacation
inasmuch as in this
time
they do the entertainment that they like and have a relaxing time
for regenerate their energy; hence
, I believe that a long holiday
is a better selection because they have a great deal of time
for themselves; additionally
, the teachers do not have spend a lot of time
for review the lessons that they teach before holidays in multiple one
.
On the one
hand, short vocations have several benefits. Firstly
, students
study at some intervals times; therefore
, in every period of time
they can learn various items. Add a comma
time,
Secondly
, on every vacation
students
are able to set different goals to achieve them. In other words
, on The first vacation
, they go on the trip, the
second Change preposition
on the
one
learn programming and so on.
On the other hand
, one
holiday
with a number of times has some good points. On the one
side, Younger people have a good time
learning one
skill professionally. For example
, summer is the best time
for students
to learn the categories that they do not have any idea about . On the other side, populations who want to travel do not invest a lot of money in fewer facilities due to
the fact that they have a lot of time
for journeys. To illustrate, most of the flies, hotels, and so forth in the Christmas holiday
are full; however
, in the summer you can find a range of good situations for trips.
To conclude
, not only short but also
long vacations have some advantages, but I subscribe to the long vacations on account of the fact that they help students
and their parents to flexible trips and use holidays with high efficiency.Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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task achievement
Your essay covers the main points of the question and provides a balanced discussion about the advantages of both multiple short vacations and one long vacation. To improve, ensure that you remain consistent in your argument and avoid repetition.
task achievement
Try to add more specific examples to support your points, as this will strengthen your argument and show a greater depth of understanding.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear structure throughout your essay. While you have a logical structure, some points could be better organized. Pay attention to how you build and sequence your argument and ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific point.
coherence cohesion
Work on your transitions between paragraphs to make your essay smoother and more cohesive. Using varied linking words and phrases can help connect your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
You provide a clear introduction and conclusion which wraps up the essay well, giving it a rounded structure.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic and presenting a balanced view.
task achievement
Your use of examples, while needing more specificity, does help in illustrating the points you wish to make.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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