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Band 7

Is teaching people over 65 to use computers the best way to spend government money? To what extent do you agree?

#people #computers #government #money
It is widely thought that providing free education for using
computers
 for elderly residents is the best way to spend the national
budget
.
However
, I strongly disagree with
this
 argument for several reasons. Granted, one might argue that various aspects of one country could benefit from teaching citizens over 65 years old to
use
computers
.
This
 is predicated on the assumption that getting proficiency in computer skills could help seniors to be more self-reliant.
This
,
according to
this
 theory, results in elderly
people
 not depending on their sons, daughters or grandchildren.
However
,
this
 only works if they need to
use
 computer skills for many complicated purposes,
for example
 in the form of calculating a complex worksheet or designing a movie with a lot of effects. Meanwhile, some elderly
people
 would want to enjoy their time with their friends rather than doing these tasks.
Furthermore
, they could
use
 smartphones which are simpler to do many tasks
such
 as writing an email, reading the news on the internet or booking an appointment with a doctor. There are convincing reasons to say that
governments
 should not invest in offering free courses to teach seniors to
use
computers
.
On the other hand
, I believe that
governments
 need to allocate their
budget
 to address
such
 problems being more than important and urgent.
Firstly
, the national
budget
 should be spent on developing the educational system to cater for children under 18 years old. Once one child is equipped with good skills and knowledge, he or she could contribute to the development of different aspects.
Therefore
,
governments
 would not need to offer free computer lessons when they would be elderly
people
 in the future.
Secondly
,
governments
 could invest a huge amount in tackling environmental issues as they would have more effect on a lot of
people
. There are compelling pieces of evidence to say that
governments
 have many emergency tasks rather than spending their attention
as well as
budget
 on teaching seniors to
use
computers
. In conclusion, I firmly believe that teaching
people
 who are over 65 years old to
use
computers
 is not the best way to allocate the national
budget
 because they might not need
this
 skill to serve their lives better
whereas
governments
 have
such
 urgent problems which must be addressed as soon as possible.
Submitted by maha.wed on

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines your stance, setting a strong foundation for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument, reinforcing your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive function
  • Digital divide
  • Lifelong learning
  • Cognitive decline
  • Digital inclusion
  • Autonomy
  • Reliance
  • Healthcare allocation
  • Elderly empowerment
  • Budget constraints
  • Intergenerational connections
  • Social connectivity
  • Online services
  • Technological literacy
  • Cost-effectiveness
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