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Band 4.5

Discipline is an ever-increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of the parents, while others think it is the role of the teacher in school. Discuss both points of view.

. Nowadays,
discipline
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 is an increasing problem, especially among students. Some believe it is the duty of
teachers
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 to improve
children
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's
discipline
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.
However
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, others think it is the
parents
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' responsibility to teach their
kid's
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kids
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discipline
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. In
this
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 essay, both perspectives will be examined before my opinion. There are various reasons why
teachers
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 should teach students
discipline
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 rather than
parents
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. To start with, most
parents
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 are not always free. In fact, some of them see their
children
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 once every week or month.
This
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 stems from countless reasons.
For instance
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, divorced
parents
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 are not always available to teach their
children
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.
Therefore
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, Researchers illustrated that 50
percent
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per cent
show examples
 of
parents
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 are divorced, which could lead to a
devastated
Replace the word
devastating
show examples
 future for their kids.
In addition
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, other guardians can't afford
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
due to
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 their international work. To end with, some
teachers
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 are not even
Use synonyms
discipline
Wrong verb form
disciplined
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 themselves. In reality, teaching
discipline
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 requires lots of dedication
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 most educators tend to lack.
Nonetheless
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, there are
also
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 many reasons why
parents
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 should teach their own
kid’s
Check wording
kids
show examples
discipline
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. One of them is that educating pupils could enhance their bond with each other.
Furthermore
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, Scientists believe that
parents
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 who spend time teaching their
children
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 tend to have stronger and more exquisite relationships than other guardians.
Moreover
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,
parents
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 should take care of their
children
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. Many pupils who have been taught in school have acted differently than
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
parents
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 expected. That's because guardians lacked the ability to teach them in the right way.
Overall
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, there are multiple advantages and disadvantages in teaching kids
discipline
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whether
Punctuation problem
, whether
show examples
 it is from a teacher or
parents
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.
However
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, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 I think
parents
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 and
teachers
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 should take part in disciplining their
children
Use synonyms
. Actions

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content
The introduction clearly sets up the discussion about discipline and the two perspectives.
content
You present both views well and include relevant reasons for each viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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