IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Giving detailed information of crime in newspapers and on television has bad consequences. Some suggest that government should impose some restriction on them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#information #crime #newspapers #television #consequences #suggest #government #restriction
There are some channels that illustrate the details of a crime or some graphical images. It could be annoying to watch
such
 content or hear about them. The regularization of these contents is important and should be applied.
On the other hand
, some
people
 want to figure out what is going on in their city or country. One reason for these restrictions could be the children.
For example
, what would be their reaction if they saw a crime scene? The catastrophic effects will not be fixed in the long term. We can control it by managing our TV channels or newspapers. Apart from that, details of bad news convey bad energy to the house and they can change our mood. There are myriads of reports that are shown without censors across the media. Apart from the government, we can add some filters to our channels or even delete them.
Hence
, we do not have to struggle with psychologists and medicines.
On the other hand
, some
people
 want to see a detailed version of news with all of those disgusting contents. They believe these kinds of content help
people
 to realize what is going on in their city or country and avoiding that, is just like closing eyes to miseries that are there but you do not want to see them. All in all, I personally think these types of content belong to some specific kinds of
people
 and not for all characteristics and the news
that is
 shown on TV or in newspapers should be
labeled
Change the spelling
labelled
show examples
 based on the types of viewers.
Submitted by aneizehbaz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve the Task Achievement score, try to provide more relevant and specific examples that illustrate your points. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Ensure each main point is fully supported with detailed explanations. This can help in making your essay more coherent and cohesive, moving your score higher.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of the essay. The essay should flow smoothly from one point to the next with clear transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and gives a clear sense of closure to the essay.
coherence cohesion
You clearly state your position in the introduction, which gives a good starting point for your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a generally clear structure with distinct paragraphs discussing different points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: