some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country they wish.
Many
people
argue about wheter
or not professional Correct your spelling
whether
jobs
, such
as ductors
and engineers are obligated to Correct your spelling
doctors
work
in their training country
. Eventhough
some individuals believe that these Correct your spelling
Even though
people
with professioanl
Correct your spelling
professional
jobs
should work
in their own country
in return to
all of their training, Change preposition
for
this
essay believes that people
who work
in these fields should have their own right to choose their own workplace.
To begin
with, proffesional
Correct your spelling
professional
jobs
such
as doctors or engineers are often believed by many people
that they have the need to contribute their service to the country
where they persued
their degree and went training. As Correct your spelling
pursued
this
could be seen as a form of contribution to return the favor
to the Change the spelling
favour
country
. For instance
, majority
of universities in Indonesia Correct article usage
the majority
offered
a scholarship for their students but Wrong verb form
offer
as
in return, they need to Change preposition
apply
work
permanently in Indonesia.
However
, most of the workers who stayed in their country
recieved
a very concerning number of income from the government. Correct your spelling
received
That is
why this
essay stands with the people
who agree that proffesion
Correct your spelling
profession
professions
such
as doctors and engineers should have their own right to choose another country
to work
Change preposition
in, because
,
because it gives them more Remove the comma
apply
option
and Fix the agreement mistake
options
wide
range of salaries, which will give them the feeling of satisfaction and freedom. Correct article usage
a wide
For instance
, a
recent research shows that Asian Remove the article
apply
people
who work
as doctors that work
in another country
had
higher Wrong verb form
have
income
than the ones who Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
work
in their own country
.
In conclusion, it is believed that proffesional
Correct your spelling
professional
jobs
should work
in the country
where they did their training. But, it is not very profitable for them and this
is why they must have the freedom to choose which country
they want to work
in.Submitted by ethia.oktaviani on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors. For instance, 'proof' should be spelled as 'proof,' 'ductors' should be spelled as 'doctors,' and 'proffesion' should be spelled as 'profession.'
coherence cohesion
Work on creating more fluid transitions between ideas to help the reader better follow your argument. This will improve the overall flow of your essay and enhance the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the Indonesian scholarship program and the comparison of income between local and international jobs for professionals.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite