some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country they wish.
Many
people
argue about Use synonyms
wheter
or not professional Correct your spelling
whether
jobs
, Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
ductors
and engineers are obligated to Correct your spelling
doctors
work
in their training Use synonyms
country
. Use synonyms
Eventhough
some individuals believe that these Correct your spelling
Even though
people
with Use synonyms
professioanl
Correct your spelling
professional
jobs
should Use synonyms
work
in their own Use synonyms
country
in return Use synonyms
to
all of their training, Change preposition
for
this
essay believes that Linking Words
people
who Use synonyms
work
in these fields should have their own right to choose their own workplace.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, Linking Words
proffesional
Correct your spelling
professional
jobs
Use synonyms
such
as doctors or engineers are often believed by many Linking Words
people
that they have the need to contribute their service to the Use synonyms
country
where they Use synonyms
persued
their degree and went training. As Correct your spelling
pursued
this
could be seen as a form of contribution to return the Linking Words
favor
to the Change the spelling
favour
country
. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
majority
of universities in Indonesia Correct article usage
the majority
offered
a scholarship for their students but Wrong verb form
offer
as
in return, they need to Change preposition
apply
work
permanently in Indonesia.
Use synonyms
However
, most of the workers who stayed in their Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
recieved
a very concerning number of income from the government. Correct your spelling
received
That is
why Linking Words
this
essay stands with the Linking Words
people
who agree that Use synonyms
proffesion
Correct your spelling
profession
professions
such
as doctors and engineers should have their own right to choose another Linking Words
country
to Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
Change preposition
in, because
,
because it gives them more Remove the comma
apply
option
and Fix the agreement mistake
options
wide
range of salaries, which will give them the feeling of satisfaction and freedom. Correct article usage
a wide
For instance
, Linking Words
a
recent research shows that Asian Remove the article
apply
people
who Use synonyms
work
as doctors that Use synonyms
work
in another Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
had
higher Wrong verb form
have
income
than the ones who Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
work
in their own Use synonyms
country
.
In conclusion, it is believed that Use synonyms
proffesional
Correct your spelling
professional
jobs
should Use synonyms
work
in the Use synonyms
country
where they did their training. But, it is not very profitable for them and Use synonyms
this
is why they must have the freedom to choose which Linking Words
country
they want to Use synonyms
work
in.Use synonyms
Submitted by ethia.oktaviani on
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task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors. For instance, 'proof' should be spelled as 'proof,' 'ductors' should be spelled as 'doctors,' and 'proffesion' should be spelled as 'profession.'
coherence cohesion
Work on creating more fluid transitions between ideas to help the reader better follow your argument. This will improve the overall flow of your essay and enhance the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the Indonesian scholarship program and the comparison of income between local and international jobs for professionals.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite