IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single-sex schools or coeducational schools. Some people think that children going to single sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?

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Are children
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are sent to single-
sex
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 causes disadvantages
to
Change preposition
in
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 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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? In my personal opinion, no. In modern days, the internet is open.
Students
Use synonyms
 can have a conversation with another
sex
Use synonyms
 pretty easily if
the
Change the word
their
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 parents allow them to have messaging apps. Some of them might go out often and make friends with a friend of another
sex
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some individuals might be
an
Correct article usage
apply
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LGBTQ which is okay, but people might bully them. Learning in a single-
sex
Use synonyms
school
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 does not
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 future relationships and interactions with another
sex
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. Take me
for example
Linking Words
. I learn in a single-
sex
Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
 and many of my friends can interact with another
sex
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 just fine! As we grow we learn to get used to it.
Although
Linking Words
 some
individuals
Change the noun form
individual
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students
Use synonyms
 will feel awkward or nervous around another gender which is normal!
Secondly
Linking Words
,
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 is open! Now
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 easy to talk to another gender. We have plenty of messaging apps that
allows
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allow
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 you to chat and make friends with strangers
,
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apply
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 if parents allow them.
However
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, in some cases, some
students
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 might be attracted to the same
sex
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, which isn't wrong!
But
Correct word choice
However
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, some individuals or groups
finds
Change the verb form
find
show examples
 it funny and
bullies
Correct subject-verb agreement
bully
show examples
 them. Which can lead to suicidal thoughts, loneliness, and other mental health problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, when an LGBTQ
Use synonyms
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
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 walks in to do a presentation on Tuesday, the class starts to chat and point fingers at the person, which isn't appropriate. In conclusion, learning in a single-
sex
Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
 is not a problem
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 future relationships because as we grow, we adapt.
Next,
Linking Words
the internet allows for
such
Linking Words
 interactions pretty easily.
However
Linking Words
, some LGBTQ might find it a problem and experience bullying from other
students
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
In the introduction, make sure to clearly state your position on the topic. Instead of asking a question, you can start with a statement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea or aspect of your argument. This can improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Strengthen your essay by providing more specific examples and evidence to support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Try to connect your paragraphs more smoothly by using transitional phrases. This will help improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Always restate your main points clearly in the conclusion to reinforce your argument. This helps in providing a satisfactory end to your essay.
task achievement
You have provided a clear response to the task and covered various aspects of the topic.
Coherence Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
task achievement
You have included personal examples, which makes your argument more relatable.
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