Increasingly, many young people are deciding to work or study in other countries. What are the causes of this phenomenon? Do you think it is a positive or negative situation?
The topic under discussion is nowadays it has become
a
commonplace for the youth to study and work overseas Change the article
apply
instead
of in their own country
. This
‘brain drain’ phenomenon has gaining
popularity as compared to how it was, before. Wrong verb form
gained
This
essay will explore about
various reasons behind the phenomenon and the implications to individuals Change preposition
apply
as well as
the nation.
First and foremost, people
opted to study and work abroad to gain invaluable experience and transcend their knowledge. To explain this
, undergraduates are expecting a place where they can hone their skills and acquire latest
upgraded knowledge. Correct article usage
the latest
As
Change preposition
For
for example
, in science and technology, more developed countries such
as Australia, United
States and Correct article usage
the United
United
Kingdom are countries of choice where Correct article usage
the United
people
choose to migrate due to
the availability of the resources in this
area. Turning to the next point, the youth is also
looking forward a
better salary overseas. Change preposition
to a
This
can be attributed to the rise of inflation worldwide. Hence
, one can barely survive the minimal wages for daily expenses in their own country
. Therefore
, difference
in currency justified their choice of residing not in their Add an article
the difference
country
of origin.
Next,
studying or working abroad has its own advantages and setbacks. Ultimately it can be a career saving
decision Add a hyphen
career-saving
of
Change preposition
for
an individuals
to foster Correct the article-noun agreement
individuals
an individual
their
career growth. Correct pronoun usage
apply
People
can upscale their skills with available resources abroad. Consequently
, it is also
a loss to a country
. To produce an expert in a field, a long and tedious process is involved together with
financial investments. Losing experts will mean the need to import professionals from other countries and this
is not cheap.
In conclusion, the reasons involved in
Change preposition
apply
people
migrated
overbroad be it to study or for Wrong verb form
migrating
employment’s
Change noun form
employment
purpose
include upskilling and knowledge reinforcement and for better income. Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
Positive
effect for Add an article
The positive
individual
is positive career growth Add an article
an individual
the individual
while
negative
effect Add an article
the negative
of
Change preposition
on
country
is Add an article
the country
loss
of experts Correct article usage
the loss
in
particular
field. Raising incomes, increasing employment and entrepreneurship are Add an article
a particular
the particular
few
solutions that the government may need to consider.Correct article usage
a few
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task achievement
Try to refine your introduction. While the topic is clear, the wording could be more precise and less colloquial.
coherence and cohesion
Work on enhancing the transitions between paragraphs. While they are present, they can be smoother to make the essay more fluid.
task achievement
Consider detailing your examples more thoroughly. Make sure they are connected directly to the main points and clarify them further.
task achievement
The essay introduces the topic well and sets the stage for the discussion to follow.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by examining both the positive and negative aspects of the phenomenon.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion is effective in summarizing the points discussed and offering potential solutions.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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